I really, really wanted Julie to channel her inner Oprah Winfrey and declare to Eli, "You got a hhhooouuussseee!" She didn't. Boo. But Salem still had a little sunshine for a minute. Yep. Just a minute. And things fell apart again. Hard. Let's start in a happy place, though...
The stranded "Salem Seven" were rescued by John and Marlena. By "rescued," I mean John and Mar strolled in like they were looking for someone's reading glasses in the next room and were like, "Bitches be rescued. Let's roll. We gotta make bingo night at the Horton Center." Seriously, it was pretty anticlimactic. I've been more excited to randomly see my first-grade teacher at the grocery store, but let's move on.
Did anyone else want in on that hug between Valerie and Eli? I was way more touched than I thought I would be by their reconciliation, since they're both fairly new to the canvas. Vanessa Williams and Lamon Archey tugged at my heartstrings with their performances. I just wanted to scurry off and call my mom.
In the House of DiMera things weren't nearly as pleasant. Sure, there were hugs, but Chad knows about Kate and Andre. Andre and Kate know about Chad and Gabi. Rafe does, too. Oh, and Abigail certainly knows. Chad knows about Abigail and Dario. Let's just say no one was putting sprinkles on their sundaes over the happiness of any of that breaking news.
I was excited to learn that Kate and Andre agree that they are platonic, but best buddies -- thick as thieves, which is pretty befitting. I hope they stay that way. They're more fun without romance. And with Andre's penchant for sometimes murdering people, it's best that Kate stays away from hugs.
As for Abigail, Chad, and Gabi, well, it's still a bit sad. "Sad" as in I wish I were more invested, and it's making me feel uneasy, as I love the characters involved. I'm sad this storyline was rushed, illogical, and inconsistent. And partially made up (sorry, baseball, fans). I'm sad I didn't feel worse for Abigail realizing that, sure, she pushed for "Chabi" to happen, but her grand gesture is hard to swallow in reality. Yep. I'm sad about a lot of things involving this storyline. I hope eventually my frown can be turned upside down, and I'll still like all parties involved. Well, except Dario. I don't think there're enough olive branches to extend for me and that bozo. Right. Let's go to another happy place...
Deimos was outed as the "Candy Man" by Rory. RORY! I love that stoner so flippin' much, and I adore that Dirty D's downfall was because of him. Rory, you are the man. Now get to safety! Hide behind Rex and Cassie. No one will find you there.
As such, Deimos is wanted by the popo. I guess that means he should be safe, given the Salem P.D.'s track record. Hope looked fab but certainly won't catch him in heels -- just saying. Anyway...
Deimos has some new drug update, Halo 2.0. He wants to use it for revenge. Sure, why not, but wasn't he around for "New Coke"? Everyone preferred the original Coca-Cola Classic. You'd think a CEO would know good business practices. Oh, that's right! Busta is out on his butt, and Sonny is the new CEO of Titan. Damn. Oprah really needed to be in that scene, too, to say, "Sonny, you're now the CEO of Tttiitttaaannn!"
If the "island rescue" was anticlimactic, so was Sonny's response to Victor officially handing him Titan. He was like, "Awesome," and smiled. Really!? After months and months...and months -- long, long months -- of his broken recordness, that's all? Awesome!? Not even one crazy Tom Cruise couch jump? Not awesome, Wannabe Thug Sunny-D. But I digress.
I rather enjoyed Sonny and Victor's scenes. I also get everyone's concern over Sonny's sanity or possible sinister side emerging. Sure, Sonny is smart, but it would be a shame for Salem's resident Care Bear to become a d-bag like Deimos. It's slippery by that rabbit hole, Sonny. Be careful. Use Dirty D as a precautionary tale. And then Sonny's first official act as CEO was to fire fifty people. Opa!
Okay. This is nitpicky, but it's bugging me. Sonny is getting a lot of heat for firing people Deimos hired. Here's the thing. Before abandoning "Corporate America," for a less-corporatey life, I worked for two Fortune 500 companies at various points. Do you know who hired me? Not the CEO. Someone in HR did. Um, I may have known who the CEO actually was when reading up about the company prior to the interview or via a companywide email announcing something with his name and little thumbnail picture attached to it afterwards. But, yeah, CEOs rarely interview 50 people for jobs unless it's a very high-profile position. So, I'm not sure why Sonny had to fire those people, either, Justin. But good luck with that mess.
LOOSE ENDS:
French fries drenched with cheese sauce are scrumptious! So are Waffle House hash browns smothered and covered. Um, ice cream doused with fudge? Amazing, too. This storyline involving Tripp, Jade, and revenge against Kayla overflowing with weak sauce? No thank you.
The ISA called. John answered. He's leaving Salem again. Paul was super cute trying to get the 4-1-1 on his upcoming whereabouts. I totally ship their father/son chemistry. Of course, Brady and Mar Mar were upset, too. All the goodbye scenes were very sweet, but I still want to know where John goes. At some point, at least one of these missions has to be related to something in Salem, you'd think.
After finding Eric's manifesto letters to Nicole, Jennifer decided they should just be friends. Sure. That's the reason. Let's go with that. Good move, Jenny Bear. The "friend zone" isn't so bad. Just ask Dario, Roman, or Lucas. They're experts.
Marlena's chat with, err, lecture to Ciara was a bit, um, out there. I know Mar's intentions were good and she had some valid points, but Doc wasn't there when Theo was pledging his always and forever devotion. Claire might have wanted to "Free Tibet" or dabble in veganism, but, even if she and Theo don't work out, she at least lost her virginity in a committed, loving relationship. There's that, Mar.
Sonny has the amulet. Deimos knows this. Yep. The "cursed amulet" is still in play. "Yay!" said no one.
Don't forget to bring your pocketbooks to the "Welcome Home" party! Mar's hijacking it as a fundraiser for the struggling Horton Center. Eli won't mind! He's already been told he's having a party in his new house. Though it's too bad Mar and Eric couldn't put their heads together and find a few millionaires or close ties to some local companies.
I got it! Maybe Belle could help Eric and Mar Mar when she has a moment free from running DiMera Enterprises in Hong Kong -- you know, that company that spends a large amount of time rebranding its public image via fundraisers. Oh! Didn't John sell a company? Or maybe Mar could talk to Julie, who just bought a mansion, and see if she has anything left in her money pit. Then again, Julie had to Dumpster dive in the Kiriakis Mansion for their old sofa to put in the Martin House, so maybe Doc should just ask her friend, Maggie, who's married to a tycoon. Nah. That would never work. Hitting up recent survivors of a plane crash is a better idea.
I know Kate is Team Gabi. I know Andre and Abigail have this best buddy bond. Yet, I'm still not sure what Andre's real problem is with Gabi. Given that Andre murdered a sibling or two, he can't be that invested in the fact that Abigail is family via Thomas. Maybe he wants her Irish land inheritance? I'm not sure. It's a rather wonky aspect of an already wonky storyline.
Oh! Maybe Andre is jealous of Gabi, as her poor decisions once upon a fake stalker ago almost blew up the town, and he's always wanted to do that. Maybe that's it. Maybe.
HOT
Nicole and Chloe working things out? Yes, please! Now if all Salemites will just put away the Chloe effigies they were about to burn, or donate them to the Horton Center for a much more humane burn if their heat gets shut off, life can resume as normal. In any event, Nicole and Chloe patching things up is fantastic and as it should be. The performances during those scenes were powerful, too. It was a win all around. You know, until it wasn't...
NOT
Seriously. Nicole gets ten minutes with Holly before some judge who looked like a mean Roger Ebert told her she's unfit and sent the babe into foster care!? Wow. That's cruel, former writers. And a total head-scratching, maddening punch to the throat. Not cool. At all.
LINE OF THE WEEK
Andre (as Kate, Chad, and Gabi casually trashed him): "Hello! I'm standing right here."
EXCHANGE(S) OF THE WEEK
Andre: "Shin was spreading rumors I was mentally unstable."
Chad: "And you married Kate to prove them right?"
Victor: "Well I'm glad to see you're still a smartass."
Sonny: "I love you, too."
RANDOM THOUGHTS
Can we just give a cyber standing ovation to Nadia Bjorlin! She's been tremendous in this storyline, and last week was no exception. Hat tip to you, Ms. Bjorlin!
Nicole and Brady hailed that Holly was "sweet and easygoing." Um, she just brought a dude back from the dead. You'd be pretty pleased with yourself, too. Plus, Oracular Babe is probably changing her formula into wine and is blitzed half the time.
Drake Hogestyn is rocking his new hairstyle. Very sharp, sir. Very sharp!
Speaking of hair, what's going on with Sonny's lately? It's a little distracting. Then again, he is hanging onto the cursed amulet. Get rid of that thing, man.
I'm pretty sure Billy Flynn is replacing puppies and ice cream as a kid's favorite thing. Those tots on the DAYS set seem to love him. It's adorbs.
Every time I hear "Martin House," I want to pronounce it like the theme song to Martin. It's pretty fun. Try it.
Aww. I'll never not be happy to see Stefano's portrait. Warm and fuzzies abound.
Yez! Nicole brought up Fay. Well, she spoke about her mother. And I'll forever run with the banner that the talented and all-around lovely Valerie Wildman should return to DAYS. One, no one is definitively dead in Salem, especially if you've read the spoilers lately. Two, Fay could not only come back to bid Nicole adieu, but she could stick around if Brandon moved his fine self back to town. Three, we don't even need Brandon -- hello, Fay/Abe/Valerie/Roman love-quad. #DAYSvetsdeservestorylinestoo
Hmm. That cop Hope talked to about Dario's file seemed dirty. I'd check his phone. I think he tipped off Dirty D.
Wait. A. Second. Is there a secret entrance to the Brady Pub!? Just where did Eli and Lani come from last Thursday? It's liked they walked out of where a booth used to be. Weird.
Even Deimos referred to Dr. Dude while exchanging jabs with Eric as, "...this town's most beloved doctor." Et tu, Dirty D? Those two would have hated each other. More so, um, that's Tom Horton's title, thankyouverymuch, and there ain't no amount of surfing doctor bro's saving a few lives and sleeping with patients that will take that away from Tom. Man has a square named after him. That's respect, dude.
Also, Brady said to Holly, "That's your daddy's heartbeat." First, ugh. Second, learn about "finders keepers," Brady Black. Third, Seriously!? Just re-watch any scene of Kristen having a meltdown over Marlena, replace me with Kristen and Dead Dr. Dan with Marlena, and that's about the level of maddening I feel with this never-ending inundation of the sainted surfing one. Stop. Just stop. If the new head writer only does one thing and that thing is taking Dead Dr. Dan's body off the cross, I'll be a fan. Shut. It. Down, Ron.
I love Hope and Jen scenes! Oddly enough, Laurisa and I just listed them as a reason that helped us get through DAYS the past few years in our annual Two Scoops Summer Series. Check out Part One: Shiny Happy People by clicking here!
John was sweet and gave Marlena an airplane charm for her bracelet before leaving town. It symbolized their latest adventure. Please say I'm not alone in wanting to actually see Mar's bracelet. I mean, there have to be a devil, guillotine, and conference room table charms, right!?
PARTING THOUGHTS
So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of June 26! Sadly, I'm going to miss the party next week as I'll be helping a few friends out with their résumés, since they lost their jobs recently *cough, thanks, Sonny,* but Laurisa is ready to get down with the recently returned Salemites and will gossip all about the celebration next week! And, "That's a fact!"
As always, thanks for reading!
Tony
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