Spoiler alert: In the overflowing, alphabetized Rolodex of "Tony's Faults," my biggest is under "I" for "impatient." I am. I'm very impatient. Like, I feel my washer's speed setting could step it up a notch, and I've told it so. I believe a stroll down memory lane should be more of a brisk walk instead. I think self-checkout lanes need to be restructured and labeled "I got this!" for those of us who know what we're doing and don't want to spend an hour behind some slowpoke who should really be in the "Seriously, have you ever been out in public before!?" lane. Yep. I'm impatient. So, whereas last week was lovely on DAYS, all I have to say is...
Damn you, Friday Cliffhanger! Damn you. Sure, sure, the pre-wedding festivities were delightful, and we'll discuss that, but come on. There were a lot of (several unnecessary) stall tactics on the road to St. Luke's for the foursome amidst the lovey-dovey oohing and aahing schmaltz fest. It's a Salem wedding. We knew something big would happen. And something did. Someone walked into the church at the end of Friday's episode, and, well, that was that. Again, "Damn you, Friday cliffhanger!" I can't wait over 48 hours to see what happens next! But that's a good thing, really. Waiting for the next episode of DAYS is something I missed dearly, as impatient as I am. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's discuss those stall tactics and lovely moments first.
A big "Yes!" to Paul. He's right. He and Sonny needed to have that big chitchat about Will. Though I don't blame Sonny for spouting, "God, I hate this conversation." It was gut-wrenching but the right thing to do for their future. Both Christopher Sean and Freddie Smith completely brought their A-plus games to the scenes. Bravo, gents!
Not to be outdone, Chad and Abigail had their bliss blindsided by annulment issues regarding Dario. I mean, really, if everyone had just let me take care of Dario when I wanted to, this wouldn't be an issue, but I digress. Justin informed them Abigail could face immigration fraud issues. Whoopsy.
Oh, Chad-a lama ding dong. I love you, C-Money, Chadster, Chadillac, but...but I couldn't help but laugh when he said to Abigail, "You didn't do anything wrong." You know, except commit immigration fraud. Thankfully, Abigail was a rock star and took responsibility for her actions. Self-awareness is such an amazing trait in a character. Two snaps and a twist for Abs!
Though I'm not sure what Abigail's momentary hesitation was about lying to get out of her marriage to Dario. Sure, she had to say she loved Dario, but she kind of already did that once to make the union seem believable in the first place. Doing it again was just for the greater good. I'm glad that had a swift ending, but the hesitation was lame.
Anyway, Abigail getting her annulment was wedding roadblock number 3,482 last week. Gabi ended up saving the day by contacting Dario on Abigail's behalf. Nope. No awkwardness at all there. And then Dario signed the papers when Abigail asked him and cleared the way for wedding roadblock number 3,483, but before that obstacle, we got to par-tay...
Abigail's bachelorette party was a little docile, but a lovefest nonetheless. Everyone pretty much told Abs how wonderful she was, offered advice (I legit loved that book idea), and told a stripper to go away. On a party scale ranging from one/low -- say, a house party where someone brings an acoustic guitar -- to high -- say, a Ke$ha video -- I'd give this party a five, or a Brady Bunch-style trip to Sears. Good clean fun and lots of emotional sharing. Though she was missed, let's find a nice way to tell Jennifer she didn't miss anything.
Paul's party was a little more fun, for the most part. Well, until the stripper he used to date showed up and things got a little uncomfortable. Nevertheless, I think hanging out with Steve, Roman, and J.J would be fun. Those three are go with the flow, let's drink kinda guys. The Patch Man even gave Stripper Gil some singles! Granted, Brady is sort of a dark cloud, but it would be fun to mess with Rafe. I'd give this one a seven just for the potential it could have had if it hadn't ended so awkwardly.
Finally, we had Chad and Sonny's joint venture, compliments of Andre. Oh, Andre. You tried. You did, buddy, and no one can take that away from you. Somewhere on Wisteria Lane, Bree van de Kamp is giving you a closed-lip smile and nod. And somewhere, Fred of Scooby-Doo fame is shouting, "I told you so!" about those ascots. There's that. Chin up, Andre -- duck can be reheated nicely for leftovers.
And then the big day came! It was filled with some heartwarming scenes. The kind of comforting hug-type scenes that DAYS does best have finally returned. Thank you, new writers!
While Paul picked up a Master's Degree in Romance from John and Marlena, he could have earned a doctorate by watching Doug and Julie. Their scene at the new club was utterly romantic and a beautiful reflection of their history together. Sing it, Doug!
The pre-wedding scenes between Jennifer, Abigail, J.J., and Thomas were also poignant, especially when Jennifer told her family which parts of Jack she saw in them. Though I think she hit the nail on the head with Thomas' inability to sit still for a second like his grandfather. So, so true. All in all, a classy, warm moment for the Deveraux family.
Of course, Andre and Chad's scenes were touching, too. They definitely aren't textbook brothers, but they're brothers even so. Andre gave Chad his favorite pocket watch. Aah! Though I'll never be shocked if Andre returns to the dark, err, darker side, this was a pleasant moment for the DiMera men (and Kate, too).
Which leads us to the actual wedding. It was a Salem spectacle, and I loved it! Mostly everyone who should have been there actually was. No, really, that's true! It wasn't one of those "a few familiar faces and a bunch of extras filling in chairs" type events we've had to grow used to in recent years. Most all of Salem's A-listers were there. Um, "Yes" and "Please!"
And with Justin presiding -- because, you know, Father Louie Lou I had family issues *cough stall tactic number 3,998* -- the wedding began. The highlights by far were Andre's sincerity and humor and, especially, Paul's vows. They were downright touching. Christopher Sean nailed every emotion brilliantly. Maggie's "second chance" speech was also nice. It was all just lovely. Until the end...
Abigail no sooner mentioned she doesn't know what would happen ten seconds from now -- and the doors burst open and a mystery man walked in. Ooh! Now it's a Salem wedding! Boom. And while I have a very, very strong hunch as to who came 'a weddin' crashin', Monday will give us the answer for sure. But I must say, Hannibal Lecter better have been right when he said, "All good things to those who wait."
On the topic of psychopaths, one escaped Bayview Sanitarium last week! Nice work keeping track of your keys, Veronica. Oh, you. I guess they don't call her Veronica "I'm Always Losing My Keys" Whatsherface around the old nut house for nothing. I mean. Classic Veronica, am I right? Anyway...
I'm pretty sure he's said wedding crasher. I don't know if I can wait until Monday. Really. I need a lot of Nyquil and a really loud alarm set for ten minutes before the show. Welcome back to the party, DAYS!
LOOSE ENDS:
Better late than never? Victor admitted he wanted Deimos dead for what he did to Bo. While I love that so hard, I'm still a little miffed it took Victor this long to come to that conclusion, but I'll pretend that was the plan all along. It's better that way.
Are Hope and Rafe "outstanding candidates" for police commissioner, Abe? Are they? Really, Mr. Mayor? I mean, they certainly have an insider's guide to the criminal mind the way they Weekend At Bernied Stefano's corpse and all. Huh. Maybe Abe's right.
Snap! Eli and Shelia have a past. I'm curious. From the tone of their conversation, it wasn't always an amazing adventure. Something big went down. I'm an enquiring mind and want to know.
When Marlena told Eric that he lights up when he talks about Nicole, that pretty much summed up everything perfectly. While I know Marlena realizes the complexity of the situation (Hey, John and Roman circa the '90s), I suspect she's secretly Team Eric and Nicole. Sorry, Brady Black -- you'll have another new "love of your life" in no time.
Question. Can we have Eric return to Salem and send Brady to a cabin? Just wondering.
HOT
Hooray for the big, old-school blockbuster DAYS event! Like, it wasn't any type of shocker that the wedding would be interrupted, but I had some fears the ceremony would end up being in a blue office with a few random extras and a lot of excuses as to why loved ones weren't there. I. Was. Wrong! So, so wrong, and I'm thrilled I was. Cheers to the cast and crew for returning a DAYS event into an actual DAYS event!
NOT
While I absolutely love the fun Judi Evans seems to be having brilliantly playing Bonnie (and Victor and Bonnie have had some hilarious yet cringe-worthy exchanges), the Bonnie posing as Adrienne thingy is really making most of Salem look like complete idiots. Actually, it has been for a while now and needs to stop. All we've gotten is a few throwaway lines such as "Adrienne isn't acting like herself." You think, Salem!? The only thing more bizarre than the way "Adrienne" has been acting is Kirsten Dunst covering "Turning Japanese." No, really. That's a thing, too, but, again, I digress. Moral of the story: most of Salem's IQs have been slipping fast. I'm beginning to think I could go to Salem, draw a face on my hand, wrap a tie around my wrist, and convince Adrienne's loved ones that my hand is a banker and they should share their account numbers with it. Let's stop the insanity.
LINE OF THE WEEK
Shelia (to Bonnie): "Don't have a cow."
EXCHANGE OF THE WEEK
During the stripper's performance at Paul's bachelor party
Roman: "I'm not sure where to look."
Brady: "Now you know how Paul felt in a major league locker room."
Roman: "Good point."
RANDOM THOUGHTS
OMG, yes, please! I want Eli to become a mall cop just so we can see Salem Place again. I'll even start a "GoFundMe" to get him a Segway. Let's make this happen.
I'd also like to purchase a muzzle for Brady if anyone wants to pitch in. He needs to stop talking for a minute. Or ten. Sans a nice-ish moment at the wedding, he's sort of channeling his inner Debbie Downer a bit too hard these days. Maybe he should have that drink. Look how much fun Lucas had before his hospitalization. I kid, I kid. Don't drink, Brady. Or speak for a while.
Good on John for streaming the wedding to Tori and Grandpapa Narita! Though I wish she could have been there. Boo.
I'm glad they stuck with Chad and Abigail meeting at the Java Café. I was worried for a second there would be some flashback of them playing basketball together in seventh grade that we were supposed to remember. You know, Abby "Hoopsta" Deveraux and Chad "Slam Dunk" DiMera.
Ha! I kind of adored Marlena's comeback to Brady's "jump out of a cake" crack. Funny Mar Mar is the best.
Eric moves faster than anyone I know! I'm a month into my new place and still have a few boxes to go through. He already has decorations up. *Hat tip* Eric. He can do it all.
While Dario and I have had our issues since his return to Salem, it was great to see Jordi Vilasuso! I wish Dario could go into Dr. Rolf's brainwave scanner and get a personality reprogram. Then again, Dirty Dario was rather delicious toward the end. Either way, Jordi is awesome.
Speaking of Dario, why is he still in the Witness Protection Program, since they caught Commissioner Raines? Is it that cartel thingy? If so, I will broker an arrangement with the cartel -- we'll hand over Dario if they return Theresa.
Chad and Sonny scenes make me smile. Always.
Yes, please! Maybe a bachelor party wasn't the place for it, but I would totally watch the "History of the DiMeras" the next time Andre and Kate have a movie night. Totally. Where do I sign up!?
John sent the Cuban cigars to the bachelor party. Well played. Though maybe "ISA missions" is a code for buying cigars in Cuba, making John a cigar runner.
I get wrapped up in Marlena and Eric scenes due to the chemistry between Deidre Hall and Greg Vaughan. Marlena's love and concern for Eric is effortlessly expressed by Deidre to the point where you can feel Marlena's in pain because her son is. It's very touching.
Did Eli donate his sofa -- formerly known as the Kiriakis living room sofa that Julie Dumpster dived for -- to the St. Luke's church!?
Good idea to have Gabi in special, ringside seating at the wedding. Everyone can really watch her emotions and gossip then. Nailed it.
Was it just me, or did Stripper Gil kind of remind anyone else of J.J.? Like, they could easily be brothers.
Steve said he has people "looking out" for Joey. I hope at least one of them is Vargas. Aah, Vargas.
Coaching Little League, John? That was more important than your son's bachelor party? At least Marlena came up with better excuses when she'd brush off Sami for something "more important" Belle, Carrie, or well, anyone else was doing. To be fair, though, Marlena was kidnapped a lot.
That was a nice Nicole and Rafe moment. We need more of those. I liked their friendship.
Is it just me, or does it sometimes seem like nearly everyone is Salem has some sort of substance abuse problem?
Retro note: Was there ever a definitive answer on the child Marlena allegedly had with Alex North? Did he/she, I think he, even exist? Um, not that it needs to be revisited, mind you.
As cute as the moment was between Claire and Hope (and it was), I think Claire's an unwanted sex-tape too old for Grandma to be shielding her from a stripper. Just saying. #awkward
PARTING THOUGHTS
So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of October 2, 2017. Laurisa's back next week with a better breakdown of the wedding fashion and a total breakdown of who the mystery man who interrupted the wedding-squared is! And "That's a fact!"
As always, thanks for reading!
Tony
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