I love Sweeps months. All the crazy comes out to play in the best ways possible. Though, before we go on, I'll need you all to sit down. Really. Sit. It's for your own protection. See. The information I'm about to share is rather shocking. I wouldn't want any of you to fall and hit your heads. I don't think I have enough random appliances to create a makeshift mind-unscrambler like Dr. Rolf. So, you've been warned...
The news is -- the BIG news is -- the biggylicious, Oh-to-the-My-to-the-God-sized shocker of all shocking shockers news is that Marlena, Kate, and Kayla aren't dead! No. I said they AREN'T dead. They're alive!
*crickets chirping*
Do I need to amplify my voice? I didn't hear anyone gasp. I said Mar, Kate, and Kay are alive! Hold up. I'm sure I can create a microphone out of an immersion blender, two measuring cups, a piping bag, three stale Cheetos, and a pouch of expired instant oatmeal. I mean. That's not hard. Or weird.
C'mon! Nobody's shocked by this!? Okay. Fine. I guess I wasn't, either.
Though seeing the two docs and the diva in those tubes was pretty, um, "tubular," as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles say. We knew there would be a twist, and now, the tubes have it. A tube not unlike we saw a certain Beauregard Brady contained in a Beyond Salem Two second ago. And with the vibrant villainous laugh, Megan Hathaway has returned...again. I. Love. This. But I must ask, why take the Ladies Three!?
Did Megan have a beef with any of these ladies or their gents? Then again, she was (and is) Stefano's most Stefano-esque child. Megan's got it. She knew what it meant to be a DiMera. So, is this revenge on her family's enemies or something more Stefano-like sinister!? SO many questions are on the slab. I can't wait for these to be answered.
In the real-ish world, Ro Ro stopped Steve and John from offing Old Orph. I'm glad. Sure. I get it. An eye for an eyepatch and all. But that is not what Mar and Kayla would have wanted. Oh. Kate, either. She didn't want Roman to ruin his life. So, I guess pseudo-death did change Kate. There was a time and poison brownies she'd be all over a scheme for some comeuppance. I'll be damned. Growth!
Now, maybe it's the grief slowing their mojo, but I'm shocked that it took Black Patch so long to whittle down the DiMera list to Megan. Seriously, guys? She abducted and brainwashed you two last summer and got away. She wasn't your next guess after Special K? I repeat, "C'mon!"
I can't say I'm too upset over that, though. I absolutely adored the scenes with John, Steve, Tony, and Anna. Sometimes four amazing actors having a conversation is all it takes to make a great episode. More, please.
And speaking of "amazing actors," well, there was something randomly fun about seeing Brandon Barash and Blake Berris on-screen together (technically again)! Two great gents from different DAYS eras coming together and such. I liked that Jake managed to get through to Nick. So many great points were raised. Also a few lackluster ones were brought up, too, but the performances were mind blowing, especially Blake and that one tear streaming down his face. Bravo, good sirs!
So, while we may have many, many more questions, at least one important one was answered. Jewel sang, "Who will save your soul?" Jake DiMera! He did. He gave Nick the pep talk into doing the right thing, and that led the Ladies Three to reunite with their bodies in those test tube things. And now that we're back at base camp from the great soap beyond, let's see what Ms. Hathaway has in store for us all. Now would be a good time for all of us to throw our heads back and laugh villainously.
LOOSE ENDS:p
I honestly love surprise visits from slap-happy Mr. Shin! Sure. He can be a bit of a shitake head, but his powerful presence gives validity to the DiMera Enterprises dynamics. I'm still scratching my head as to why the family needs a board, but they have one, nonetheless. Then again, the board has been the most stable constant for the company. I mean, somebody needs to take control of the tunes during the CEO musical chair fests often plaguing the famiglia. Should Mr. Shin stick around or just surprise us again sometime soon? And would you like to meet other board members!? I know I would. Something tells me we've met (or at least heard of) some of them before.
Sorry, not sorry, Mr. Shin, but I loved that Wendy went bonkers and gave you a piece of her mind. For a man who claims to be a corporate visionary, he couldn't see the antiquated way he treats his daughter. Go, Wendy!
Gabi and Li's six-month deal sounds like it'll be a little War of the Roses. It could be fun. Though six months seems like a long time, in Salem, it could be an episode. Or a year. Who knows?
Gee whiz, gang! It looks like another Scooby-sized mystery for Johnny and Wendy. Maybe they'll solve the case but not tell anyone...again.
So, Johnny does know a bit about E.J.'s past. At least some of the drug stuff. Question: Why doesn't he ask his mom about that instead of kind of giving Wendy a wonky history lesson. Also, do you tell your once-fake-now-kinda girlfriend about your dad's days as a drug dude? That was so, well, something. Odd duck, that Johnny is.
Also odd, Johnny's scenes with Nicole and, later, her and E.J. Let's start with "awkward," move to "boundaries," and tackle the rest of the alphabet as we go along. This could take awhile.
I like how E.J. and Nicole are keeping it casual in their matching robes. Maybe for their next date, they'll get each other's names tattooed or adopt a puppy and name is "E-Cole" or "El-Ruff." Something cas like that. Anyway, yes! Team up and take down Stefan. I'm all for this knockoff brand DiMera to be dealt with.
I'd have less beef with Julie supporting Nick so much if we'd seen the counterbalance scenes between her and Will. An amazing thing about Jules is that she's a total "ride or die" gal, but we never saw her support Will in any way. He's one of Nick's victims AND also her kin. An honest talk between them about Nick would be a major fix to years of wonkiness. Otherwise, it just makes Julie seem a little tone deaf, and we know from her talks with Eli and Lani, she's willing to learn and grow. So, how about some growth on this one, too?
Allie and Chanel's goodbyes were touching. Though, bullet dodged. Well. At least for Chanel. They'll be besties forever, though. There's that. Enjoy New Zealand, Allie-gator.
Okay. It's not that I won't miss Will, Sonny, Ari, Allie, and Henry, BUT it's a movie shoot, not a permanent relocation. As the Reverend Swift preaches, "You need to calm down." Not even the dead can stay away from Salem. This gang will be back.
So, are we all in agreement that Allie's returning to Salem someday with Alex's baby, right? Let's ponder baby names like Whoopsy Horton-Kiriakis, One Night Stanley Horton-Kiriakis, or perhaps Yikes! Horton-Kiriakis. Either way, that kid is going to be way smarter than its parents.
HOT
How can you get "HOTTER" than a hoot who pours herself and an urn a martini!? Yes, Anna, that warm feeling you have is Kate smiling down on you from heaven. Um. Up from hell. Oh, hell, from that capsule thingy. In any direction, Anna is all that and a bag of chips. Cheers to the fantastic way Leann Hunley brings the fabulous Ms. DiMera alive!
NOT
"Will ruined my life." Ugh. Shut up, Dead Nick. Find a new fallen horse to beat.
LINE(S) OF THE WEEK: TONY and ANNA EDITION!
Anna (to Kate's urn): "Maybe if I use you like a Magic 8-Ball!"
Anna (to Paulina): "Honestly, it's not the first conversation I've had with an urn."
Anna (on Peter Blake): "[He's] as lethal as he is dreamy."
Tony: "Say 'Hi' to Kate for me."
Tony (to Anna after she stole most of the newspaper from his hands): "Oh, sure, I'm going to read the sports section and then, after that, I'm going to go down to the schoolyard and shoot hoops with the bros."
EXHCHANGE OF THE WEEK
Tony: "Don't you think this sudden revelation of a mystery DiMera could be something of a 'Hail Mary' pass?"
Anna: "That's from football. It means last-ditch effort."
Steve: "Thanks."
I loved the look on Stephen Nichols' face when the "That's from football..." line was delivered. He was definitely holding in a smirk. Almost.
I loved hearing names like Sydney, Theo, Peter, and Steven Hawk! Well played, Team DAYS!
Nick nearly nabbed the "LINE OF THE WEEK" by snarking, "Pathetic bits of crockery." Ha!
Okay, Kate could have closed the deal on "LOTW," too, with, "Stefan is alive. This is the other one." Again, "Ha!"
Speaking of funny statements, who else instinctively nodded in agreement when Allie announced, "Yes, I am [a fool]!" Girl. No arguments from me.
When Allie walked out of the apartment and turned off the lights, did anyone expect to hear Wendy call out from the dark, "I'm still here."
Also, does this mean Wendy now gets a room? It'll just be sad if she stays on the sofa.
With all the tapestry on the ground in heaven I'd break an ankle in an instant.
"What, did you think it was a robocall!?" I love Kate.
If Satan invented video games, I'm also pretty sure it's responsible for social media, pop-up ads, and exes. All of them.
While my sympathy level for the Commish stands at a whopping "Eye Roll" on the "F's to Give Scale," snarky Rafe works much better than the regular version.
More so, I love Rafe and Gabi scenes. Their honesty with each other is refreshing. They're not afraid to call each other out, and that's a good thing.
Steve stating that Stefan was "definitely sleazy enough" totally scored with me. Never forget, Patch Man. I'm with you.
Remington Hoffman cracks me up! Li's love of Stefan's screw-up with Gabi was hilarious.
Did Johnny steal Will and Sonny's suitcases? His shirt last week was very "Wilson-ie."
Sloan scored some points with me for enjoying pineapple on pizza. You're either in that club or not. There's no slicing that one differently. #TeamPineappleOnPizza
The mirror scene with Brady where Dr. Rolf goes in to shock (or spatula) Stefan was awesomely shot! It had old-school horror movie vibes. Johnny would have loved it!
Also, cheers to more conversations between Anna and Paulina! This friendship needs to happen. Let's bring these ladies together more often. I'll give them another topic. Stephanie's worked with them both. And bond!
Drag things out much, Orpheus? Since the life of crime thingy doesn't seem to be working out well for him, he should become a reality show host. He's good at stretching a two-second reveal into a 42-minute stall tac...tac...tac...we'll finish this word right after a message from our sponsors.
PARTING THOUGHTS
So, friends and fellow fans, that's it for February 27! I need to sneak back to my capsule before "you know who" discovers I'm awake, but an alive and un-tubed Laurisa will be back next week -- same Two Scooping time. Same Two Scooping channel. As always, thank you for reading, and "That's a fact."
Tony
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