Before I get started, I'd like to give a special shout out to my fellow Two Scooper Liz, who graciously stepped in last week for me and wrote this column on short notice, when my mom had to have emergency surgery. You rock, Liz! Thank you! I'll be doing next week's column, also, to repay her kindness.

Maxie Jones is a lot of things: narcissist, fashionista, feisty. But she isn't a killer. Yes, I know in the midst of a childish tantrum, Maxie haphazardly broke the lab gas valve that led to Robin's tragic death. Stupid? Yes. Homicidal? I don't think so. It was an accident, Scoopers.

So, consider me shocked when Maxie marched to the pulpit at Robin's funeral and confessed to murdering Robin. The move was Maxie's way of dealing with the guilt she felt for being so selfish the day of the explosion, for breaking that valve and not stopping to tell Robin or fix it, and for the last hurtful words she hurled at Robin, for not taking time to deal with Maxie's adolescent love life issues.

Maxie is spinning out of control. It was clear to me that she had lost it, when I caught a glimpse of her funeral-day attire. As incredible as that red ensemble was, even Lulu knows you don't wear a bright red cocktail dress to a funeral. But, Maxie's red choice was symbolic. She feels like she has blood on her hands, and she needed to tell the truth to those who loved Robin.

I have to say that Jen Lilley has done a wonderful job of showing us Maxie's grief, guilt, and inner struggle. When she realized she wouldn't be charged with Robin's murder, Maxie upped the stakes so that she would be punished. She confessed to killing Lisa Niles. Gulp.

Did Maxie do it? I don't think so. (I'm still going with Anthony as the top suspect, despite Patrick's strange comments about getting rid of Lisa.) But, Maxie wants to be castigated, and this seems like an easy way to get sent to the slammer.

I feel sorry for Maxie, but the real victim in my eyes is poor Mac. This guy has raised half the town's children, only to bury two of them, while the third is staring down a murder charge. My only hope is that Alexis, or Diane, or someone, will help Mac through this heartache. I don't mind volunteering.

The bright spot in this storyline is the transformation of Spinelli. It's like he's matured 15 years in the span of a week. Even his speech pattern has changed. He was compassionate, caring, nurturing, and determined to help his beloved Maxie. His speech at the church that Maxie's behavior the night of the explosion was one moment and not a sum of her life was inspiring. Bravo Spinelli!

I'm guessing things aren't going to get better anytime soon for Maxie, as she continues to torture herself. Maxie's selfish actions were deplorable, but at the end of the day, she loved Robin. On an up note, maybe she'll redesign the prison orange jumpsuits while she's in the pokey.

I must echo the thousands of fans outraged that Robert Scorpio was a no-show for his daughter's funeral service. What a knucklehead move! Why even bring the guy back, if it wasn't to support Anna and let him mourn his daughter? This has to be one of -- if not the most -- stupid plots I've ever seen on this show. It's a slap in the face to viewers. We barely got one scene with Robert and Anna, before he took off after Ethan. Thank God for the flashbacks, or we wouldn't have had one glimpse of the Aussie at the service. Epic fail!

And don't get me started on the Anna and Luke bonding. Yes, they're both phenomenal actors and the scenes were great, but the scenes should have been between Robert and Anna, and you know it. Also, Robert should have been there for Mac. I'm shocked and furious at the shabby treatment of Robert Scorpio. He, Robin, and fans deserved better.

The other big issue I had with the memorial was the lack of Port Charles residents in attendance. Mac is the police commissioner, and Robin was a doctor. The place should have been packed. The Quartermaines weren't there! Why? Monica thought she should work. Edward wasn't feeling well. It was wrong. And where were Robin's coworkers -- Steve, Epiphany, and the gang? And poor Mac, none of his fellow cops cared enough to attend his "daughter's" funeral? Dante, Ronnie, and Mayor Floyd were also no-shows. Brenda didn't even send a card. Jax either. If this is an indication of the handling of future storytelling, I'm deeply concerned.

While I'm nitpicking, I have to say I was perturbed that a good portion of Robin's memorial was about Stone. Yes, she loved him and he had an enormous effect on her life. But I'm sure that her grieving husband and daughter didn't want to be reminded of that. Call me cranky, but I'm sick of all this Stone nostalgia. It was decades ago, people! Can we just move on already? I think more appropriate clips could have been pulled from the Nurses Balls or other wonderful moments of her life.

I can't discuss the funeral without heaping every bit of praise I can type on Jason Thompson. Wow! The guy suffers better than anyone in town. His tear-filled eyes, sometimes brimming over, were killing me. He looked like someone had punched him in the gut. Kudos! This guy can act.

How do I love Anna Devane? Let me count the ways. It's so great to see her back in Port Chuck. Big thumbs-up for bringing her back, as well as Noah Drake.

I'm still not enjoying Kate's split personality storyline. Sorry. I agree with Liz, my fellow Two Scoops writer, that Kate must have been taking some target practice lessons to be able to shoot out tires on a moving vehicle. That shot would be tough for Jason Morgan to hit.

As many of you know, I didn't watch One Life to Live. So, I was somewhat irritated when I heard cast members would be moving over to General Hospital, to steal more screen time from some of my never-seen favorites. But, the move, along with the return of several vets, seems to be helping ratings. So, that makes me happier than Connie with a tube of new red lipstick.

So far, my favorite new addition is Paul Ryan. Oops, I mean Todd Manning. Roger Howarth is so talented. I actually believe Sonny Corinthos may have met his match. For those of you who didn't watch As the World Turns, Howarth played Paul Ryan on that show, and from what I've seen, it's basically a similar personality in Todd. He still has his dry sarcasm, biting humor, and irreverence. Although, from what I've read, Todd is way darker, homicidal, in fact. Admit it, when anyone in town pulls a gun on Sonny, we're usually 100 percent sure they won't actually fire it. With Todd, I'm betting it could easily go the other way.

Someone fill me in please on this John McBain guy? When did all this history with Sonny take place? Off-screen? I've watched GH faithfully, and I don't remember any of this occurring. The one thing I do know is I'm having trouble understanding his deep voice sometimes. Is it just me? I know OLTL fans are excited about him, but I really hope it doesn't mean less cop work for Mac and Dante. Or maybe I do, considering they never seem to get their guy. With the repeated comments from Sam that she felt like she'd met John before, I had to Google them. It appears these two were costars on Port Charles, and he played a vampire. (That explains his stake to the heart comment!) And they also did a crossover commercial for ABC, playing both their current characters. Many of you probably already knew that, but for those of you who didn't watch Port Charles then, I wanted to let you in on the joke, too. Those two have some chemistry!

Add this to your GH drinking game. Every time Ewen is shirtless, take a swig. I'm not complaining. I just find it humorous. GH must be saving a fortune in wardrobe for this guy.

Funny how everyone in town suddenly had framed photos of Robin. From Edward to Maxie to Anna, her mug was popping up everywhere.

Way to go, Luke, for changing the name of Jake's to The Floating Rib. Long-time viewers will remember that it was a hangout many years ago for the hospital staff. Plus, Coleman and Luke gave us some much-needed comic relief this week. I especially liked Coleman's hastily drawn cardboard bone logo. Was that supposed to be a rib?

Call me crazy, but for once I was cheering on Carly as she broke into Jason's room to tell him about Robin. I get that Sam was trying to protect her husband, but he should have gotten to go to the funeral. Jason and Robin loved each other once. Plus, those pews were empty. The church could have used some bodies in the seats. I wish Jason had made it before the service ended.

Despite my hopes for a new chapter for Jason, it seems we're destined down the same old path. Did anyone else's mouth drop when Jason reaffirmed to Sonny that the new baby won't get in the way of Jason being Sonny's number-one-with-a-bullet-hit-man. Sigh.

Yes, I agree with all of you about the new opening theme song. It's horrible. With all the vets returning and the name of the Floating Rib resurfacing, I think they need to go into the archives and pull out the old music.

As for the shallow point of the day, I must applaud the hair department. Dante's cut looks incredible. Maxie's mane is gorgeous, as is Elizabeth's. And even Anna and Carly looked sleek and sexy, despite all the craziness.

And if you missed Jen Lilley's appearance last Friday on Soap Central Live, you'll want to check it out. Jen talks about her unusual hobbies -- baking cakes and power tools! -- and also sheds some light on how she ended up playing Maxie. You can listen for free at any time by clicking here.

(Johnny calls Carly out for ignoring Sam's wishes and telling Jason about Robin's death.)
Carly: "I don't have to play games to get Jason's attention."
Johnny: "What would you call crashing his honeymoon?"
Carly: "Necessary."

(Policeman John McBain goes to the Quartermaines' to question Tracy.)
John: "I was wondering if I could speak to the lady of the house....Tracy Quartermaine, or does she prefer Zacchara? "
Alice: "Either way, she's no lady."

(Sonny can't believe he's being blamed for shooting out the tires of a moving car.)
Sonny: "I'm flattered the cops think I'm such a good shooter."

(Luke comforts Anna about her anger at Patrick and her grief for Robin.)
Luke: "God, you know things are bad when I'm the voice of reason."

Thanks for all the great comments, even when we disagree. Keep them coming! You had plenty of opinions on the "new" characters coming from One Life to Live, and many of you were upset that I wasn't thrilled at all the new cast members.

• Regarding the OLTL characters: I'm an OLTL fan who was going to give up GH until OLTL was cancelled. Now, I'm sticking with it because it's got some of my favorites transported from Llanview. GH fans have to realize that the soap is hanging on by a thread. The only way ABC doesn't cancel it is, if the ratings go up significantly, and that means you need to capture some of the OLTL fans who have nowhere else to go. Instead of griping about how much you don't care about the characters, how about sucking it up, giving them a chance, and let them have more than a week to develop the story? Geez. I can't stand more than a few characters on GH, but I'm willing to put up with them so I can get to the ones that I love. Fingers crossed that GH survives. Just don't insult the Llanview crew. They may very well save your soap. ----- Meryl Yourish
  
  
• Sorry to say GH has been ruined for me and I can't watch it anymore. It is not the same show at all starting with the opening theme which is atrocious. Bringing the new characters in from OLTL, just assuming that we all watched that show and already know them, I think was a mistake. I didn't know what was going on with that prolonged drive and car crash. Who were they, why should we care? As you said, another child dying. What is the matter with those writers? There's too much of that in real life. ---- Carol
  
  
• I am as excited to see some of the old faces as everyone else, but I think all of them are getting pretty long in the tooth to keep up a superspy storyline. Also, give the Mannings a break. I have watched and loved them for years on OLTL and they are bound to add some spice to the same old stories on GH. Maybe it is time to give Sonny a hard time with a really lovable bad guy like Todd. I am thrilled to see at least part of the storyline from OLTL go on, even though they killed off another child, never a good idea. And this Kate/Connie story is for the pits. Let's take a vote on who actually shot out Anthony's tires. Why Connie of course! No question about it. And shame on "fans" who are so hateful to the new Maxie. Yes, I miss Kirsten, but give the girl a break! ---- Linda
  
  
• There is no consistency in the story lines on GH but the mob. I have been watching Luke and Laura and Robert and Holly's storylines from the '80s online, and I have to say I have would rather watch them in their grainy VHS quality glory over my HD-shot GH most days. I liked the mob stories back then when it was A storyline and not THE storyline. Watching Luke and Sonny do jobs for Frank Smith reminds me why I liked Sonny. (Luke was always making him a party to his made up characters in his scams. It was a hoot). That Sonny was likeable. You saw how he cared for Stone and tried to protect him. Bring back that Sonny. Current Sonny thinks nothing of starting a mob war with his kids sitting in the middle. Also, why am I supposed to care if Jason lives or dies? He is a killer and nothing about him has or will change as a result of the brain swelling. I am with Patrick: One less mobster in Port Charles would have been OK by me. --- Denise
  
  

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