Hey you OLTL's fan out there. Sorry to have missed you the last two weeks, but sometimes life gets in the way. OLTL has been really exciting lately and a must see. Watching Lindsay come apart at the seams as she confesses to her daughter that she killed Sam, her father. Jen even mustered up shock at the results of vindictive behavior.

Blair picks up a gun to get revenge on Mitch Laurence (ML). (Sometimes we never learn). Gabrielle is feeling the pressure of the closeness of Nora and Bo and doesn't want them to know a greater connection... Matthew.

That jealousy bug is all over Llanview, Natalie sees green when Carlotta compares not only her cooking, but her dancing skills to Jessica. But, Jessica's mind is on that fine Antonio, and she obviously wants Natalie to be comfortable and goes out of her way to accomplish that.

ML is grinning like a cheshire cat as he talks to that "mysterious" person on the phone (Dorian), envisioning champagne on ice, prematurely celebrating his victory over the Lord family.

The loneliest waitress in town (Marci) is pursuing yet another unavailable man (to her), but Al is so drug hazed, that he doesn't notice (or care?).

Flash is eating in a diner in Memphis. Elvis Presley, long presumed dead, makes his comeback appearance as an impersonator of himself who counsels the waif singer. She is so instilled with confidence that she auditions for American Idol and makes it to the finals. Simon loves her, but there's one judge she will have to reckon with off stage. C.J. (played by Justin Timberlake) has become a rap mogul and is not interested in sweet, ethereal vocals. He likes her look, but she'll have to learn to rhyme. He suggests she take lessons from Niki Smith, a gal with real street credibility who just married Mitch Laurence and regained Llanfair for all the Lords. There's a huge family reunion with tons of guests trashing the library and sliding down the banister. Clint, Cord, and Kevin arrive from England with 1950's pompadours and a posse of rockabilly bands. Bo ignores the noise ordinance because he finally gets to jitterbug again.

In Angel Square, all the homeless kids go in on a lottery ticket and win the big jackpot. They turn the garage hangout into a fabulous loft and host a snooty gala with Llanview's Symphony Orchestra. The event is quite the fitting affair until Jessica arrives and is not properly attired. But she is allowed to valet park arriving cars.

At the diner, Carlotta and R.J. celebrate their engagement. They realize that all their animosity towards each other was really stunted passion. Antonio agrees to be R.J.'s best man, a gesture that so fills R.J. with glee that he decides to book a polka band for the reception, followed by a honeymoon in Branson. His jazz days are over!

But, wait!

APRIL FOOLS!

Now HERE'S WHAT REALLY HAPPENED today on One Life To Live:

She knew they were coming so she baked a cake. Natalie pauses precariously with her homemade dessert, slightly taken aback by Jessica and Cristian's familiarity with the cha cha. But Jessica is sensitive to her sister's insecurities and generally makes everyone feel more comfortable, including Antonio, who confesses to her that he lost his badge. Even Carlotta starts to warm up like the new spring weather. The Voice of The Night describes the sultry evening air as being "like the woman you love, wrapping her arms around you." The guests leave, and Cristian and Natalie delight in the evening's success. Carlotta comes back briefly to give them family heirloom champagne flutes. As she leaves, she gives Natalie a kiss. Cristian chases his mom-approved lover around the table, the precious goblets chiming against each other as they frolic. Natalie is gloriously happy at last.

Insisting her failure to quit drinking through hypnosis was due to her "resistible" personality, Roxy assures Asa that their trip to Atlantic City will cure Nigel's smoking habit. Despite Nigel's resistance, the three of them "chopper" down to a dive of a club and sit front and center. The Mysterious Mysterio introduces his act with a "what if" scenario about falling in love with the first person you see triggered by a random word, like bourbon. As he loosely dangles his gold watch, Nigel and Roxy are mesmerized. Asa is distracted trying to order a drink. Mysterio snaps his fingers. A second later Asa yells out "double bourbon" to the waitress. Suddenly, Roxanne and Nigel lock eyes. Asa interrupts their ogling with the reason they came. Mysterio works his magic and Nigel is cured, at least of smoking. Casting his gaze back to Roxy, Nigel drools, "I only desire one thing."

"Whatever it takes." An ambitious Blair is not opposed to a less than lawful solution to solve Sam's murder, find Todd, clear herself of the murder charges, and get revenge on Mitch. Troy prevails with reason and together they accurately deduce that Lindsay must be the killer, with Mitch's help. Troy insists they go to the police, but Blair requires a quick trip to the ladies room at Rodi's. Troy waits patiently with her coat.

As Jen is frantically trying to call her mother's cell phone from the gallery, Lindsay is in her car in the garage below. But Mitch is truly in the driver's seat as he suffocates her with a chloroform-drenched cloth from behind. She passes out, her anti-anxiety pills spilling from her limp hand. Mitch inserts photographs of her children in between her manicured fingertips, plugs up the tail pipes of her car with white rags, and carefully reapplies her lipstick. Describing the understandability of her orchestrated suicide, he strokes her hair, kisses her on the cheek, and leans over to start the engine. A gloved hand strikes him firmly on the head with a blunt object. He falls to the pavement. The gloved hand turns off the engine and drags his body away. Lindsay is slowly becoming lucid. Jennifer finally finds her.

Troy is still waiting for Blair at Rodi's. He has a server check the ladies room and discovers she's gone. He receives a call from Jen requesting his presence at the gallery. He protests, but Jen tells him it's not about her mom, it's about her dad's killer. He agrees to come. At a nearby table, Rae and Hank are rekindling affections. Delighted by the finality of Rae's divorce, Hank suggests a celebratory nightcap at The Palace.

Troy gives Lindsay medical attention at the gallery. He swears he must be mistaken, but he thought he smelled chloroform on her. Jen begs him not to report what they've perceived as a suicide attempt. Troy is amenable and tries to comfort her. Jen presents a hypothetical confession of a crime committed while insane and asks Troy if such a person would be culpable for their actions. "I'm sure they wouldn't," he replies. On the heels of his exit, Lindsay comes out of her bedroom calmly insisting she must go to the police right away. She sweetly reasons, "It's not nice to keep the police waiting. That was really nice of Troy to come visit me. He's a very nice man." Jennifer is blown away by this latest twist in her mother's mental illness. Lindsay changes her outfit saying, "The first thing people notice about you is your clothes. I wanted to make a good first impression. And I want Bo to be proud of me. Are you proud of me?" Jen is aghast at her mother's odd tranquility. Lindsay tells her to stop crying because, "You want to be pretty."

Antonio takes Jessica to the Buchanan mansion. Admitting she's "still a princess," Jess concedes that she's still got a pretty good life without the Lord fortune. The hypnotic trio returns and Nigel makes excuses to secure Roxy's trip home. As everyone else disperses for the evening, Nigel and Roxy linger in the foyer. They banter languidly about "intrigue" then suddenly smash their lips together, magnetically groping each other and falling onto the floor.

Having declined his grandfather's invitation to the Atlantic City romp, Joey visits Flash's squat where he find her sorry-I-stole-your-wallet Dear John. He returns to the mansion and has a heart-to-heart with Asa, who is puffing on a cigar after his trek to New Jersey. Asa assesses, "From the looks of you, I'd say you had girl trouble."

Mitch is propped up, strapped from the forehead to a chair. Dim shadows shroud him, except for a flashlight and a gun, both pointed at his face. His eyes squint open. Blair moves in close and rips off the thick white tape covering his mouth. She quietly threatens his life. A voice calls out in the darkness, "Don't do it Blair!" Surprised and thrown off balance, Blair whispers, "Dorian? You're back." Dressed in sequined eveningwear, the Cramer matriarch flicks on the lights, drops her Louis Vuitton, and aloofly sasses, "Yes, I'm back. And please, do not ruin my homecoming by splattering blood all over my living room."

Dorian makes her grand return, right into a scene of Blair holding a gun on a taped up Mitch. She orders Blair to put the gun away as Blair asks her aunt if she knows who the man is. Dorian and Mitch exchange a private glance but Dorian feigns shock and surprise to see the man alive. Blair wants to kill him as Dorian explodes and slaps the Mitch. She spent time in jail because of him, she rages. When Blair shoots off the gun in the air to get everyone's attention, Mitch insists that he had nothing to do with Todd being missing. He embellishes his story and ends it by saying that Todd simply ran off. Blair is sure that he's lying and tells him so. She only wants to kill him for all that he's done to her and her family, while Dorian attempts to dissuade her.

Nat and Cris celebrate and make love after a successful dinner.

Roxy and Nigel can barely stand near each other without pulling off each other's clothes. They fall to the floor in the foyer of the Buchanan mansion, kissing passionately, still under the hypnotic spell. In the study, a restless Jessica and Joey encounter their grandfather cleaning a gun. Joey mentions that he'll be off to look for Flash and both Asa and Jess accuse him of having feelings for her. He admits that she has his wallet. When the trio hear a crash they run for the front hall where they find a stumbling Nigel on his way downstairs. He tells them he knocked the vase over in his haste to turn on the alarm since he had forgotten earlier. A livid Asa tells him he will pay for this gift to him. A half-dressed Roxy makes her way down after Asa and his grandchildren depart for the study again. Once more, she and Nigel have their hands all over each other. The others resume their conversation and Asa suggests that Joey get help in locating Flash from Bo and then be done with it.

At the train station, Flash attempts to steal a wallet and later while a suspicious cop looks on, she triumphantly manages to purchase a ticket at an automated machine.

Lindsay arrives at the police station to confess to Bo since he's her friend and he cares. Bo's not in and when the problem is referred to Nora, she calls him.

As Gabrielle re-reads Sam's letter concerning Matthew being Bo's son, the commissioner returns from Matthew's soccer game. He feels sorry for the boy losing his dad, which causes Gabby to break down and cry. She's done something awful and now he'll hate her, she sobs. Bo promises that won't happen but before she can tell him, he receives a phone call from Nora; Lindsay is at the police station and wants to confess. Gabby urges him to go, her secret will wait. Later, when Al pays a visit, she gives him money for "books." He confesses to being jumpy from being up all night and doing lots of studying. Gabby mentions that Bo is with Nora but insists she's not jealous. Al takes off quickly and when Joey calls looking for Bo, Gabby again mentions that he's with Nora.

Troy checks at Rodi's and learns that Blair has never returned to pick up her coat.

At the police station, Lindsay's confession is taped with Bo, Nora and Jen present. She tells about shooting Sam because she thought he was Troy, so in reality, it's all Troy's fault. Suddenly she becomes confused and thinks it's Troy that she shot and doesn't understand. She "sees" Sam and begins to talk to him, apologizing for shooting him.

Troy arrives at Dorian's and bangs on the door looking for Blair. By the time Blair answers the door though, he's gone. When she turns around, Mitch is gone too; Dorian has set him free. Blair explodes as her aunt tries to calm her down. She doesn't want Blair to land in jail for murder, she explains. Blair is immediately suspicious but Dorian assures her that Mitch will pay. She'll take care of everything herself, she promises her niece. Blair finally hugs her to welcome her home and they prepare for bed. Blair mentions that the main bedroom is a crime scene and is taped off.

Mitch returns to his home at Llanfair and orders his aide to fetch the blueprints for the house and to leave him alone.

At Rodi's, Marcie searches for her scarf to no avail. The short-tempered bartender drives her to start snacking on the peanuts. Al arrives and meets with Brad to place his order for more of the pills he's been taking. Marcie is curious as to why they are chatting with each other, forcing Al to make up a story. Joey and Jen show up but when Jen tries to order a drink Joey won't allow her to, mentioning that she only has a fake ID. She accuses him of always trying to rescue the girls.

Nora suggests that Jen leave as it's a really difficult time for her. Lindsay tells Bo she deserves to be punished as she continues to talk to Sam. Jen is finally spooked enough to turn and run out, running into Joey who is looking for Bo. She begs Joey to get her away and they are off to Rodi's. Troy also shows up, telling Nora that he's worried about Blair but she advises him of Lindsay's confession. Lindsay asks the nice man to help her out. She doesn't recognize Troy but he seems kind so she'd like him to accompany her to St. Ann's where she will get a psychiatric evaluation. He plays along.

Jess and Asa ready for bed and on their way catch Roxy and Nigel who claim they're having a late meeting about the hair salon. When Asa snaps his fingers, recalling leaving his gun in the other room, Roxy and Nigel snap out of the spell. They can't remember a thing and wonder why their clothes are in disarray.

Jen and Joey dance as a jealous Marcie looks on. She's hurt by seeing them together and runs out. Joey pushes Jen to tell him why she's so upset and she finally fills him in on her mother's deed.

A distraught Nora falls into Bo's arms. She believes that Lindsay is faking it and she will not allow her to get away with it. She killed a wonderful man, Nora cries.

Gabby sets fire to Sam's letter about Matthew.

Troy visits Blair again, this time getting in to see her. He gives her the news on Lindsay's confession but her reaction is unexpected. Instead of being happy, Blair is quiet, appearing stunned. She inquires as to whether Troy saw her aunt on his way in but he hasn't.

Dorian pays Mitch a visit. "Darling, at last," she squeals.

After having a disturbing and emotional dream about Viki, Natalie goes to visit her. Viki is grateful for Natalie's visit and they embrace. Cristian is determined to provide a more comfortable life for Natalie.

Dorian and Mitch share a passionate kiss and are clearly partners. Dorian elicits Mitch's promise that he won't do anything to harm Blair. Mitch and Dorian relish the fact that Llanfair now belongs to them. Dorian later receives a delivery of the invitations she ordered inviting everyone to an event at Llanfair.

Blair is suspicious when Dorian insists that no one can know she has returned to town until the time is right. Dorian insists to Blair that she will protect her family and asks for her trust. Troy is surprised when Blair tells him she isn't going to the police with her accusations against Mitch. After analyzing the blueprints for Llanfair, Mitch is pleased when he finds a secret passage leading to an underground chamber.

Dr. Bonner evaluates Lindsay's mental state at St. Ann's. Bo believes Dr. Bonner's assessment that Lindsay has suffered a complete breakdown but Nora remains unconvinced. Dorian visits Addie and asks her to befriend Lindsay.

Joey learns that Flash used his credit card to but a ticket at the train station. Flash falls asleep and misses her train out of town. Mitch gives Viki an offer she can't refuse when he asks her to remain at the Banner as editor-in-chief or else he will fire the entire staff at the newspaper.

Blair is shocked to see Dorian at Llanfair with Mitch. Dorian tries to convince Blair to let her handle Mitch with the assurance everything will work out to their benefit. Mitch and Dorian anticipate seeing the reactions of their guests when they make a surprise announcement at the gala they are planning. Mitch begins digging in the secret chamber beneath Llanfair. Flash tries to steal the wallet of a man named Cole at the train station. Cole catches Flash and threatens to hurt her. Joey rescues Flash from Cole. Joey tells Flash he has a lead on CJ's whereabouts and convinces her to stay in Llanview and audition for R.J. again. Cole goes to the diner looking for Antonio. Jessica gets in Antonio's face when he berates a young mother at the diner who is momentarily careless with her young baby. R.J. gloats over Antonio's life falling apart. Remembering Jessica's words, Antonio doesn't engage R.J. in a fight. Antonio asks Bo to give him his job back. After Antonio promises to keep his temper in check, Bo gives him back his badge. Antonio thanks Jessica for helping to open his eyes to his recent behavior. Jen is shaken by the depths of Lindsay's madness when she and Will visit her at St. Ann's. Nora learns that an unnamed third party hired Evangeline to act as Lindsay's attorney. Gabrielle's romantic morning with Bo is sidetracked when Nora arrives. Gabrielle is alarmed when she realizes a copy of the letter Sam sent to Bo stating that Bo is Matthew's father had also been sent to Nora.