Death is not always the end

by Nita
For the Week of January 16, 2006
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Death is not always the end
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The week of January 16, 2006
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In a week where the usual suspects did and said all the typical things, the morgue room meeting between Kevin and the once tyrannical Tom was superb.

In a week where the usual suspects did and said all the typical things, the morgue room meeting between Kevin and the once tyrannical Tom was superb and had me glued to the screen. For me, a fan who wasn't spotted pacing impatiently at the highway leading into town when I learned of Tom's impending arrival, he definitely got better with time, and by the end of his considerably less than terrorizing tenure, I found myself half hoping the rust on his tarnished tin-plate would at least be partially polished away. Kevin of the puppy dog, water filled eyes does desolation better than anyone else and Tom more than held his own in finally uttering the words his abused boy so desperately needed to hear. I don't know if my wish will be fulfilled but I'm hoping there will be just a little more whitewash splashed on Tom's worn and chipped facade. Perhaps by way of that mysterious safety deposit box. What could be so important that Tom felt compelled to spend some of his blackmailed booty to ensure it remained out of reach of prying paws? Most of the money he extorted from Gloria? Doubtful? The signed divorce papers? Not likely. A full and complete confession? That wouldn't=t be my first or second guesses. A letter of love and apology to his son? Seems like his corpse did a pretty good job of getting those particular points across. Hmmm, what could it be? I can't wait to find out.

Even though it's probably too little, too late for the Kevin haters, for a foe turned fan like me, it was good to hear Kevin admit how greatly he regretted the many crimes he's committed against certain undeserving citizens. Crimes which convinced him he was indeed at least in part his father's bad seed son. Where=s a psychic with their crystal ball when you need one? I know that those tapping the keys have no way of knowing who will be nothing more than a scorched fish carcass in the pan and who will burn with lasting intensity, but now that 20-20 hindsight vision has proven Kevin=s talent; it=s too bad he began as what was to have been a short-lived villain. I also liked how, in spite of how much Kevin wanted to just turn his back on the body of the man who caused him so much pain, his heart wasn't quite hard enough to let Tom be buried by an uncaring County without a single member of his fractured family present to utter at least a few words over his final resting place, no matter how grudgingly they might have been spoken.

With the return of Colleen, the young lady hurt most by Kevin=s antisocial actions, it will be very interesting to see how she reacts to the knowledge that not only is he one of the new owners of the place she spends just about as much time in as she does either of her two Genoa City dwellings, he=s also her ex-boyfriend=s roommate and her grandfather=s stepson. It just about gave me a headache to figure it all out (these families are getting waaay too entwined), but doesn't=t that make him Step-Uncle Kevin? Looks like she=ll be seeing his face just about every where she wanders.

Poor Colleen. It sure seems as if she=ll have an awful lot of changes to adjust to. When last she saw her J.T. love, I thought she=d gotten a clue that he might have been feeling a mite more than mere friendship for his then roommate, Brittany. But she=ll return to find that=s old, rancid water under the rickety bridge and now it=s once moral Mac who inspires him to pen those too-sweet love songs. Just how deep and abiding does J.T.'s love for Mac run? After all, it wasn=t as if he had a whole stable full of fillies to choose from. (No, I=m not even going to bother to count Miss Desperate one-night stand.) For so long, when it comes to available young ladies, Mac has been the only available babe at the barn dance. But what should prove much more interesting is how J.T., who has purportedly outgrown his puppy dog devotion to Colleen, will handle seeing her cuddled cozily with another? Who you might ask? Well, I can=t quite conceive of Daniel suddenly falling out of love with Lily, no matter what that Dear Daniel letter said. As for poor Scott, it remains an unanswered question whether he=s stay in town or about to be banished to No Storyline Siberia, and Devon is way too dour. Colleen and Kevin together would be quite a stretch given not only his current caring for Mac and what he once tried to do to her; plus their age gap and familial, though non-blood, connection, but you must admit, as distasteful as it would be to many, it would burn J.T.=s bacon the most. And Mac, who morphs into Little Miss Misgivings whenever J.T. so much as makes a downturned moue mouth, will likely find her insecurities nearly insurmountable when Colleen breezes back into town.

While I have never had any illusions about Phyllis's morals, or should I say the clear lack thereof, this week I was reminded of how despicable this feral alley cat has always been and apparently always will be. It's not enough that she has an ongoing hunger for Sharon Newman's mate and uses every opportunity that presents itself to flirt coquettishly with the man. I slapped another coat of charcoal on her character when she pretended a caring concern for Sharon's marriage, when her lust for Nick is undermining it a bit more every day. But what pushed her the rest of the way onto harpy home wrecker grounds was the fact that she's continued to dally intimately with Jack as well as Nick. And don't think I think any more favorably of Tomcat Nick, because I definitely don't. I judge him even more harshly because he's the one wearing the wedding band. When I looked up the definition of a mangy mutt in must-have desire in my dictionary, Nick's face was leering up at me. I tell you, if the lust monkey on that man's back gets any bigger, the weight of it will force him to crawl around on all cheating fours instead of walking upright to his adulterous assignations. And yes, I made that plural, because you know Nick treats cheating like a big bag of Lay's. He can=t just have one. Okay, he probably could, but he won=t. So it's a sure bet he's going to keep on poking his paw into that free bag of chips until they're all gone or he gets caught. Cassie=s birthday notwithstanding, you know Sharon is going to go out of town. Will Nick spend that day or two painfully pining for his wife? Ha! I don't think so. The way he=s been sniffing around Phyllis, he=s probably going to be into her before Sharon even gets her traveling bag unpacked.

So Ashley wants to take to her grave the truth about who really shot Tom? How very, very noble of her. Just for fun, besides making a martyr of herself for her father, let's do a quick count of what other secrets and deeds might recline alongside her remains. Well, just off the top of my head, there's the Stolen and Switched Around Semen Sample saga, a/k/a Victor's Really My Abby's Daddy, the John is Not My Real Daddy ditty, the Man in the Middle of My Marriage Bed mystery, and The Day I Did a Bad Thing and Planted Drugs on a Motorcycle chronicle. What about her decades ago abortion? Did any of the Abbotts ever learn about that? With all those secrets crowded in around her, it would be a miracle if there was any room left for her poor departed soul.

As usual, Ashley easily accomplished the tiptoeing tightrope feat of attempting to micro-manage the life of another, while completely mismanaging her own. Out of concern for Abby, she expected Brad to feed his romantic relationship with Victoria a hard to swallow chill pill, because it might be more than their Stepford child could comfortably deal with. But instead of concerning herself with the possibly detrimental effect the sight and sound of Brad's allegedly green-eyed girlfriend could have on her precocious poppet, perhaps her time would have been better spent worrying how her daughter would deal with having a murderous mommy.

Not that I'm all that in favor of Brad and Victoria's engagement (I don't even believe in his love for her, let alone his plan to legally link their names together), but why should they back off their engagement simply because Ashley's careening crazily through yet another yearly crisis? As for backless shirt-chasing Nick, I don't know how he was even able to deliver the cautionary words he directed at Brad without them sticking in his throat like chunks of dry, day old bread. He is the last philanderer who should be doling out advice to the lovelorn, suggesting anyone back off one another. I don't see him backing off of Phyllis and turning in the direction of his crumbling marriage. And why does no one wonder about Nick's new and sudden need to be soldered together at the hip with Phyllis?

It's plain to see that boulders, rather than brains, are bouncing around in Ashley's skull. How else to explain her stunned surprise that all save Gloria believe her to be guilty? Isn't that what she's done all this for? So everyone would believe she was the shooter, rather than John? I swear, sometimes these people really make my head pound in perplexity. Jack, however, isn't at all surprised his big Sis might have coldly murdered a man. He just chalks it up to one of her convenient fugue states, happy that at least this time she isn't wandering around in her bathrobe and slippers, murmuring, Victor? Victor?

Around and around the mulberry bush raced the Winters and their unhappy houseguests. Dru and Yolanda, Neil and Devon, Dru and Devon, Yolanda and Neil, Devon and Yolanda, Dru and Neil. These people practically beat this poor college horse into unconsciousness. And me right along with him. Dru and Neil might have been, but I wasn't a bit surprised to learn Devon now shuns Boston University in favorite of good old GCU. After all, for all the empty words these non school attending cherubs toss around about going away to some prestigious school, in the end they never go anywhere. Watching the Winters babble at the Hamiltons reminded me of nothing so much as bulls battering their horned heads against two blank, brick walls. Now that Devon's admitted his fondness for his foster sister, he's not about to go anywhere, no matter how little the ride will cost him. And why is he always so confrontational about everything? Can he not have a civil discussion with his foster parents without erupting like a geyser? He sure doesn't hesitate to snap viciously at the hands that are feeding him and his mommy.

I found it rather amusing that Devon doesn't want anyone making major decisions about his life, but he had no problem making them about Lily's and Daniel. He's refusing a free ride to Boston U because he hopes to ride ... I mean he hopes to get closer to Lily. Yeah, like that'll ever happen. The stars in her eyes for Daniel are much too bright for her to notice Devon's cloud-covered ones. I know they say love makes one blind, but obviously in Devon's case, it makes him a bit stupid too.

Who invited Sierra to poke her little snout into the letter delivery business? Devon should have known better than to confide in her. Always on the outside looking in at everyone else's love life, she's determined to get in wherever she can fit in. Having said that, however, dour Devon had no business nosing in either. If he didn't want to deliver Lily's dump denial missive, he should have refused to take it. The Winters' will never forgive me if I give Daniel this letter, he whines to Sierra. First of all, how would they even know about it since they don't even know the letter exists? I'm sure both Daniel and Lily would keep mum about the second missive. Besides, he's proven time and time again he cares little for what the Winters parents think. And if he thinks the Winters would be badly bothered by his betrayal, it wouldn't even compare to how Lily's going to feel about him when she discovers he didn't play postman. Daniel is bad news, is Devon's second most used battle cry. We know Devon's motives have nothing to do with whether Daniel's a worthy suitor. Although, if Daniel's answer to love's sour sorrow is still to pass out in an alcohol-induced stupor, perhaps Devon's right. He is a bad boyfriend. Anyway, unless Daniel and Colleen fall madly in love with each other before Lily can return and re-file her claim, Devon is only putting off the inevitable.

Okay, I hope this doesn't sound too callous, but enough is enough and too much is wearing me out. No Cassie at Thanksgiving, no Cassie at Christmas, Cassie's Corner and soon to be Cassie's birthday. What's next, no Cassie for Valentine's Day, Easter and May Day? If the people with the pens want to keep painting Cassie's likeness on the Genoa City canvas, perhaps they shouldn't have erased her in the first place. For heaven's sake, let the child rest in peace. And instead of her parents racing back and forth in and out of town to take turns perching pensively in Cassie's Corner, staring at her picture, why don't they go home where surely Cassie's presence can be felt much more prominently. They could even manage to kill a second baby bird with that same stone by spending a moment or two with their poor neglected son.

Laughs for the week. Mac telling Daniel Lily ejecting him from her life by way of a Dear Daniel life might have been a noble gesture? Self-centered Lily??? Noble??? Excuse me while I pick myself up off the floor where I'd fallen in uncontrollable hysteria. A second laugh: Mac saying she could relate to the pain of Daniel's world crashing down around him from one second to the next. For Mac it was the small space of time it took to slip into something more seductive for her honeymoon night. But my third and most hearty laugh came when Gloria told John he was off buying groceries when he was actually killing Tom. Even with his partially missing memory, John didn't buy that one for a second. I can't even picture him pushing a grocery cart, let alone standing in the produce section poking at the fruits and veggies. And my giggles intensified at the horrified look on Gloria's face as John talked about sacrificing himself to save his Beauty. Our gay little gold digger will never understand a parent who would do anything they could to take away their progeny's pain. Because her motto has obviously been, every man, woman and child for him or herself. Hey, what can I say? My sense of humor is extremely warped and wicked.

I like Victor, but I could almost feel his slapped face under my palm when I heard him offer to put Ashley up at the ranch in the "Next on Y&R" segment. And he thinks Nikki would be rolling out the welcome mat for these houseguests? Brad is already working hard to become a card carrying member of the Newman clan, add Ashley and Abby to the mix and they'll soon be one big at odds dysfunctional family. Who's next? Mistress Phyllis and Big Brother Daniel?

And finally, to Sheila, Brenda, Jennifer and Sugar, goodbye, good riddance, get out, don't come back now, hear? Outlandish and unbelievable storyline from the start, the saga of Sheila's revenge has ended the same way. A new face for Sheila. Whose will it be this time? Lauren's? Scott's? Does anyone care? I certainly don't. I just hope that whatever face she's wearing, she'll never show it in Genoa City.

Okay, fans, that's what I think. Here's what you had to say.

* * * * * * *

DENYSE - Sounds like if you were a writer for Y&R I might enjoy it again. I feel the same way about most of your comments about the show and storylines. Looks like all the potential good storylines had nice big buildups and then just disappeared. I was disappointed when the return of Malcolm was nothing but hype. There was opportunity for them to add some things to the show with him. I have often felt like they need more than just one small family of black people on the show. So it would have been nice to see a new relationship with the clean cut old Malcolm (this new look was very bad). I was totally in love with Damon Porter, but hated the relationships that were so fake. Speaking of fake, I did want to see more of the hot therapist, Wes who was in the worst match up with Dru then even worse with Olivia. I would have loved to see some new storylines with those characters. I absolutely hate Mac with J.T., loved seen her with Kevin. Hate that Bobby and Nikki didn't have more time together. Loved Phyllis and Nick together. Wanted Brad and Sharon together. I usually do not like the cheating around, but these relationship have much more heat than Nikki/Victor, Sharon/Nick and Phyllis/Jack. What is worst than all of them combined? It has to be Victoria/Brad. I wish she would go back and paint something. I do not like this new Victoria. The old Victoria actually looked enough like Nikki to make you think she was part of the family. Bringing this girl on as a totally new person would have been fine, but not as Victoria. This storyline is making me want to change the channel and watch Oprah. Oh, and last but certainly the most annoying ... why dear people would Ashley take the blame for her father? She has a daughter. No mother, no good mother would allow her daughter to go through what Abby is going through. If nothing else saying, "I didn't do it would be enough for me." Hasn't Gloria lied enough? She is not threatened by jogging her husband's memory so he can know what he did. Come on, close to reality storylines would be nice.

MAUD ANN - Monday's show: Weird. Michael and Lauren were so dispassionately discussing her disappearance and subsequent ordeal and reappearance as if she had just been late coming back from shopping. She shows up at her own memorial service, for cryin' out loud, and they are just CHATTING! Shouldn't there have been sobbing, and clutching, and incoherent ecstacy?! I found THAT whole scene completely not credible - shame on those writers for hamstringing a pair of great actors with this ridiculous scene! But here's an idea: maybe Scott could start writing some episodes - you know, sort of like Escher's drawing of a hand drawing itself. Ow!

BETSY - It was neat to watch the storylines pivot and change directions (Wed). Most of the time I don't see the segues; it's a gradual move and I'm sucked in again. I was right! Kimberlin Brown did play Sugar. Lauren has to worry about 2 Sheila's out for revenge now, well, sort of. I caught the non-limp but figured the miracle healing was a Soapism. You know what they are...when children double their age every 2 years and TT can make a 30-hour drive in less than 12 - and alone with only 1 driver. (Have the writers heard about Mapquest?) I couldn't find "Univ. of Boston," (a writer slip-up?) but there is Boston University. Why don't Dru & Neil show Yo and Devon HOW MUCH MONEY they are throwing away! Tuition alone is $31,530 at BU. Devon's got a full ride, so that's $126,120 PLUS Books, fees, etc!!!! That being said, I knew a young man in real life that threw away a full ride paid for by the Coast Guard (for swimming). He didn't want to serve for 4 years afterward. And Yo is right - you can't reason with teenagers. But, she could support Dru/Neil. Then again, why doesn't Yo move to Boston with her baby boy? Cassie's pic is plastered all over the place. Is the young actress getting residuals? Or is this a way to bring her back as Noah's personal ghost? I don't remember reading that she was released from her contract, but maybe I missed that. I agree with Nick & Sharon to play it by ear with Noah regarding Cassie's birthday. Otherwise it WILL have to be an "annual event."

ANTOINE - Yolanda Hamilton definitely should not have dived in the parenthood pool head first. She does not know what she is doing or saying. First she wanted her sons foster family not to be so hard on him when he punched a drug dealer in his face, then she is okay with the idea of Devon not want to Boston University, and now she is saying it is okay for Devon to have feelings and pursue his foster sister!! It's clear she is almost letting him do anything in hoping it would win her points with her son. I really did not like that Devon did not give Daniel the letter. That was plain selfish, and he did that so he can have a chance with his foster sister! The romantic moments between Lauren and Michael were wonderful. I hope their love stays as strong for many years and do not wind up like Nick and Sharon. Nick and Sharon are clearly going to separate pretty soon, who knows if it's permanent this time. With all their petty arguments, and what Nick is going to do with Phyllis may be the breaking point for their 9 going on 10 year marriage. I don't know if maybe I heard wrong but didn't Nick on Mondays episode say Cassie's birthday was "today"? Then on Wednesday's episode they said it was tomorrow. Thursday they said it was tomorrow, now on Friday it is tomorrow! When is Cassie's birthday! At the rate they're going they going to be celebrating it in March! I liked when Phyllis made the comment to Jack that he is controlling her; that was the reason he rejected their proposal. That is the answer because he wants all Phyllis' attention on internet sales and not on some treatment center. I wondered this week was Jack Abbott planning on sabotaging the wellness spas by Nikki and Phyllis? Is this the beginning of a new Phyllis/Victor/Nikki vendetta? We must see.

WANDA - How much more do the writers think we can stand of the Sheila SL?? It gets more ludicrous and unbelievable by the minute. Sugar coming after Scott was the most ridiculous thing last week. Sheila got out of the bomb shelter with nothing but the dirty clothes on her back and yet she landed in a plastic surgeons office with enough $$ to make her look like someone?? else. Gimmee a break!!! Let go of the stupid SL of Ashley protecting Daddy and going off to prison for him. What about Abby? I saw a spoiler that Nick and Phyllis are going to get it on again next week. Looking FW to it. J.T. and Mac is such a snoozer story. Maybe "blue eyes" coming back will throw a monkey wrench in that pairing. Daniel not being able to contact Lily is soooo dumb. In this electronic age, no one could keep them from communicating. It just makes it look like the writers think we are idiots. The only way they could keep them from each other would be to lock one of them away from the entire world.

Nita
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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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