Apparently, All My Childen's newish head writers, David Kreizman and Donna Swajeski, don't need to wait for a Sweeps period to generate a lot of interest in a storyline. This week, someone -- a major character at that -- is going to get whacked. That's right. Murdered. Killed. Snuffed out. Whondunitted. Okay, so I got carried away and made that last word up.

It should come as no surprise to you that I am a big fan of the whodunit. Thanks to a dozen or so seasons of Murder, She Wrote, I have come to think of myself as an amateur sleuth. Maybe one day I'll even go to one of those dinner theatre murder mystery things. But until I do, I guess I'll have to share my Holmesian deductions here in this column.

For those of you who do not like spoilers, fear not. I know who will meet their maker, and I am not going to reveal it in the course of this column. I am going to share with you what went through my mind before I knew what was going to go down.

I know that a lot of you do not like Marissa. It's clear from your comments that you find her milquetoast and boring at best -- and a lot of you question why the character is still tweedling her way through Pine Valley.

I can't say that Marissa is one of my favorite characters, but I do enjoy what Brittany Allen is doing with the role. From all the interviews I've done with soap stars over the past 15 years, I know that it is much more fun to play the villain than it is to play the goody two-shoes. That being said, I really liked the scenes in which JR tried to make sense of Marissa's confession that she and Scott had had sex.

"Maybe we just don't know each other as well as we thought," Marissa stated, struggling to hold back her tears.

Meanwhile, JR had a hard time looking at Marissa as she explained how she'd never have been able to do the deed with Scott if things between her and JR were going well. I couldn't tell if JR wasn't making eye contact because he didn't want to start crying, or because he knew that what Marissa was saying was true. That's obviously something that Jacob Young chose to do as an actor -- and it's easy to see why he has an Emmy win under his belt. That seemingly simple choice made the scene pop.

Have you ever accidentally called someone from your cell phone because their name was above or below the person you meant to call in your phonebook? Yeah, me too. I thought Marissa accidentally calling David, probably the last person she wanted to speak to, instead of Krystal, provided a nice twist. Maybe subconsciously she wanted to call David because she knew that he'd have the pair of you-know-whats (that she doesn't) to get things done.

So this one storyline provides for several possible victims. You didn't think I'd forget to tie the discussion into my theme, did you? Maybe JR will get offed because he broke Marissa's heart. I'm thinking that's probably not likely since JR is the core Chandler right now. Scott doesn't have any real ties to the show. His mother passed away long ago, and I won't even get into the horrible decision that led to Stuart's death. Until he started getting it on with Annie, Scott didn't really even have a purpose. I can easily see Scott's lights being turned off. What better way to give Jacob Young a second Emmy than by putting JR on trial for murder? Marissa could also end up dead, perhaps the victim of a mistaken identity. Can you imagine what Vincent Irizarry could do with an "I accidentally shot and killed my daughter" storyline? I still get chills when I think of how Irizarry handled the death of his infant child, Leora.

I've gotten a lot of emails recently from people who are irked that Annie, a former nutcase and murderer, has been redeemed. Well, you knew it had to happen sooner or later. Is it far-fetched? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that it is. But I am glad that the bulk of Melissa Claire Egan's time is no longer spent seeing dead people and talking like a crazy person. Still, it was a bit weird to see Ryan and Greenlee giving a tepid pat on the back to Scott when he announced his intentions to marry Annie.

The remote shoot for Scott and Annie's wedding was really beautiful. It certain looked much more picturesque than anything that AMC's scenic designers could have crafted in the studio.

Ryan and Greenlee also have set themselves up to be in front of the proverbial firing squad. If David were to find out that Greenlee has been playing him -- he could easily snap. I don't think he'd slip her one of his homemade tinctures. I literally think he would squeeze the life out of her. Of course, Rebecca Budig did just return to the show... so I don't think she's going anywhere. But what about Ryan? Cameron Mathison has a boatload of non-AMC jobs that he's working on, so maybe he's decided that he wants to take a break from daytime. David could blame Ryan for Greenlee's betrayal and set his sights on him.

Maybe the death won't be a murder after all -- and just look like one. Ryan has been carrying on all over town just a matter of days after suffering a near-death experience courtesy of an aneurysm. Maybe he and David will get into a struggle, and Ryan will quite literally burst an artery and drop dead. David could be charged with manslaughter.

We also have Angie battling a devastating health condition. What if there were a complication and Angie lost her life? Debbi Morgan is one of only a handful of AMC performers who did not make a permanent move to Los Angeles, so might she be tiring of the cross-country commute? Debbi has already secured her Emmy nomination for next year -- and Angie's death would give Darnell Williams some juicy material. We've already seen Angie grieve for Jesse, but can you imagine Jesse without Angie?

Speaking of performers who have not made the move out West, Vincent Irizarry is on that list. David has ticked off enough people in Pine Valley, so it certainly isn't out of the question that someone might want to finish him off. Who has a reason to want David dead? Let's run off a partial list: Angie, Jesse, Natalia, Frankie, Ryan, Greenlee, Tad, Krystal, Erica, Jack, Bianca, Kendall... and the list goes on and on. But hasn't this always been the case? In February 2009, I wrote a Two Scoops column suggesting that the show might be moving towards a "Who Killed David?" plot. Yet David still draws breath. It seems too easy to have David slaughtered. Unless, of course, he only fakes his death to make someone else's life miserable. I wonder if Hallmark has a card for that.

Of course, this could all be a case of the hype machine. Maybe the big death will be someone who isn't even currently on the canvas. What if David Canary has told ABC execs that he doesn't want to return for the previously promised guest spots? The writers could easily bump off Adam -- off-screen. Travis Montgomery and Trevor Dillon were both killed off-screen, so it's not entirely unheard of.

Whoever meets with an untimely demise, I think that Pine Valley might need someone new to investigate the crime. So, I am going to pack a few bags, my laptop, and a magnifying glass, and head on over to offer my services. What better way to distract people from the fact that I could very well be a suspect!

dan

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