I have the greatest admiration for those of you out there who manage to function in snowy weather for three or four -- or more -- months a year every year! Freakish weather conditions caused this area to have more snow during the last 14 days than during the entire 14 years that I've lived here. We were totally unprepared. We are definitely a one-snowplow town, unlike Genoa City, where most, though not all, hearts were bright and gay as they looked forward to a Christmas Day celebration with their nearest and dearest.
Billy tried to undo the damage that he had done to his relationship with Jack and to the fractured Abbott family, but there was no going back. Neither Billy's appeals nor Victoria's tears could sway Jack from his objective as he calmly evicted Brash & Sassy from the building. Jack has been cut deeply by both Phyllis and Billy's betrayal and it has made him harder -- less of a bobble-head for sure. I really hope that he doesn't turn into Ebenezer Scrooge or, worse, Darth Jack. Perhaps Santa will leave Jack a first edition of How the Grinch Stole Christmas in his stocking, as a cautionary tale for Jack's reflection and future reference. Don't go too far, Jack, because if you do, you may end up on Santa' naughty list next year!
Billy, on the other hand, probably deserves a lump of coal, but Santa is jolly and kind, so I sort of expect Santa to let Billy have a warm and loving holiday with his kids, as long as he hangs their stockings with care. He may even have some happy times with Victoria, but trust Santa to surprise Victoria with her SORASed son Reed. While Johnny has remained two for the past three years, Reed has become a teenager. I'm all for that, storyline-wise. I'm hoping that it will be a gift to us viewers and not a lump of coal. Victoria has been an ingénue for 20 years, a little maturity means growth, and that's a good thing.
For Phyllis, blonde is the new red. I don't mind the blonde color. I think it's logical to want to change your appearance when you make big changes in your life. I like where this is going. Maybe Phyllis can be a successful, single career woman for a while. After all, many of us who tune in are single, so it would be nice to see a story about our lifestyle! But when the time comes for Phyllis to find love again, I'm betting that Santa will give her a map that leads right back to Jack -- after a jingle or two along the way.
Hilary probably deserves a lump of coal in her stocking, too, but Devon really does love her. Love can redeem anyone if they let it. I hope Hilary lets it, but if she doesn't, then I hope Santa sends Devon careening in Mariah's direction. Mariah is outspoken, but she has a good heart. She has managed to keep a sense of humor through a tough life, and she remained loyal to Sharon. I suggest that Santa give Mariah a magic microphone that will make her the talk-show toast of the town instead of the clumsy town clown. Overcoming that trip and fall, and becoming popular because of the courage it took for Mariah to get back on her feet and carry on, would be a very positive and uplifting story.
Santa also surprised Neil and son Moses, who, like Johnny, Connor, and Noah, is not aging. In fact, Moses is younger than his niece and nephew, but, like we say, "It's only a soap," and we know what these kids are in for when they wake up one morning and their entire childhood has evaporated overnight. Santa is giving the Winterses and Ashbys a merry Christmas, but there may be tough sledding ahead if Cane starts relying on painkillers. I'm optimistic that all will eventually be well because I know that Cane and Lily's love can conquer anything. After all, so far, it's been a wonderful life for them.
Sharon and Dylan won't have a happy Christmas because of what they've lost, but we viewers got a gift from Santa because we've had the pleasure of watching Steve Burton give an Emmy-worthy turn as Dylan McAvoy. Finally, as Burton gets ready to exit the role, he gives the subtle, nuanced performance that I followed him from GH to see. At last he showed off the acting chops I knew he had. I don't think that Dylan's character was very well conceived originally, and the writers stumbled around trying to define the character as they moved him from handyman to coffeehouse owner to cop. I'm not sure how Dylan will exit, but I know that Sharon will be the one who ends up with a lump of coal from Santa! She should be thankful not to be invited to the Newmans', because for Sharon it would be Christmas with the cranks!
The Newman halls will be decked with holly, and all will be jolly there. Nick has his long lost son, or at least thinks he does, while Victor and Chelsea, who both know better, are content to let him keep on believing that. I think that Nick is wrong to keep Christian away from Sharon and Dylan. They could all be part of his life as friends and family, and Christian would be the richer for it. On the flip side, if I were Dylan or Sharon, I'd probably prefer to distance myself, at least at first, just to get through the loss that I was feeling. I understand how Nick can be angry with Sharon, but Dylan was blindsided just like Nick and deserves some empathy. Perhaps Santa could leave Nick some bifocal glasses to help cure his myopic vision of Dylan.
Victor expressed regrets to Nikki, specifically about his part in Adam's death. That was a big lump of coal for Victor to swallow, and it is still lodged in Victor's craw. Now Victor is talking about retiring, but unfortunately, there is no one left who cares about the company that Victor trusts to continue his legacy. He could have counted on Victoria, but Victor wanted to pass Newman on to a son. With Adam gone, Victor offered it to Nick, but Nick said, "No way." For Victor, I think Santa should leave a photo album of all the family occasions and special moments he missed because earning money was more important than creating familial memories.
Nikki has been very unkind to Dylan's wife, Sharon, as well as Nick's other ex-wife, Phyllis, and I wonder how Nikki will feel about Chelsea should Nick start casting romantic glances in that direction. Nikki has resolved her own marriage issues and stands solidly behind her husband and her family. I actually like that, even if I sometimes think whichever individual Nikki supports is wrong. Whether it's marriage or business, a partnership is a partnership, so support, not back-stabbing, is the key to success. Victor and Nikki are happy now and accept each other for who they are. They're comfortable. I predict that Santa will give Nikki the gift of forgetfulness so that by this time next year, her son Dylan's memory will be as distant as that of Jack's son, Keemo.
Summer will be greeting Santa on the beach of her choice, somewhere a lot warmer than Genoa City or my neck of the woods. That's thanks to a terrific birthday present from her mom and dad. I think that makes Summer 22 now. I believe that Noah is still 24, the same age he was four years ago -- my, how time doesn't fly! Obviously Santa's present to Noah was a clock that makes his birthday a leap year every year. At this rate, Noah and Summer will be twins in two years.
Little baby Christian is safe in the bosom of the Newman clan, so it will be a Christmas of celebration and joy for the family. I am tingling in anticipation of the camaraderie and family warmth. And if they start singing Christmas carols, I am going to bawl like a baby! I urge you to join me. It's great catharsis and cheaper than a shrink! The Newmans are the new Waltons, only it's not the Depression, and they aren't poor.
Little Faith is an awesome singer. I could listen to her for a long time. If I didn't know better, I'd say she was a young Dolly Parton! (Wink, wink) I hope Santa has a bag full of therapy for Faith. "My brother's still my brother but he's my father son not my mother's," is what Faith is chanting now, but I pity the poor girl when she finds out Christian is her cousin and Connor's brother, instead. (It may make Nick a little crazy also!) Please, Santa, don't let Faith end up in a straitjacket of many colors, singing "Joy to the World" in the halls of Fairview.
It will be difficult for Santa to top Abby's past holiday splashes. Two years ago, she was having a secret affair with her niece's husband. Last year, she married her mother's former lover. Now that she's divorced him, who else is there? Perhaps Santa will bring a new man to town that isn't related to either the Newmans or the Abbotts. While he's at it, maybe Santa could bring Abby's mom, Ashley, the other sleeve for all those lovely dresses she's been wearing! I did think that black and white striped dress that Ashley wore on Thursday was really attractive. I loved the geometric design, but the missing sleeve -- (whispering) aggravates my OCD and made my shoulder cold!
As a guilty pleasure, I watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Naturally, Eileen Davidson is my favorite and can do no wrong. Erika Girardi is a close second, so I am really glad that they have become buddies on Housewives and equally pleased that Erika had a small part on Thursday's episode. So thank you, Santa, for that little clause in both their contracts that made "visions of sugarplums dance in my head."
The Baldwins will also be gathering for the holidays. Gloria will be back, so I expect witty family repartee between Kevin, Michael, and Gloria. I suspect Chloe and Bella will be invited so that Gloria and Chloe can exchange some choice barbs. Wonderful acting with lots of humor is just what I want Santa to bring me. I do hope that he brings Lauren a storyline as well as a way to save Fenmore's. I sure don't want Michael and Lauren to become a one-income family. They might lose their apartment -- you know, the one located on that time vortex that keeps Lauren eternally young.
Enough said. See all you Soapaholics next year for "The best and worst of 2016" awards. Black tie is optional for reading the column. Jammies and slippers are required when I write. Meanwhile, I hope that all of you, my friends and fellow fans, have a wonderful holiday. I wish everyone on earth the same love, joy, and peace that fill my heart every day, beginning now and continuing into the new year. So take care, all you Soapaholics; be safe as you shop, worship, and travel this holiday season. My prayers are with you.
Meet me back here in two weeks when I will once again plant my tongue firmly in cheek before proceeding or engaging in commentary.
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