Oh, gee! I'm having a dilemma. A big one. HUGE, even. Maggie and Alex got into some corporate combat, and I just can't figure out who I'll side with. Golly. Just WHO will I pick. The tough redhead I've adored as long as I've watched DAYS or Alex, whose clothes are more interesting than his personality. This is really hard, you guys.
I kid. I kid. I could watch Mrs. Kiriakis "Don't You Aunt Maggie Me!" Alex all day long. All. Day. Long. I want her to Destiny Child him with the lyrics, "Try to control me, boy, you get dismissed," then tell him to go on his way for good. Don't joke about firing Alex, Maggie. It gets my hopes up. Now, let's talk about this Titan-sized throwdown and more...
So, first! I join Laurisa in welcoming Maggie to the Titan CEO chair. I love this, too. Me might be a little tipsy from the Champagne celebrations, so forgive me if I forget to hand Alex tissues as he boohoos himself into a bitch boy tizzy.
Second. Let's be real. Victor's appointed Kiriakis "men" who were barely out of puberty to the throne, so to have an experienced businessperson run things is a vast improvement. Sure, Maggie has a sweet reputation, but we've never really seen her behind the scenes at Chez Rouge. She could be Salem's version of Gordon Ramsey, for all we know. She's also a former farmer, which is another way of saying "tough as hell," and she owned a successful spa, too. Mags got dirt road and street cred.
Also, we've seen Maggie's struggles. From a crippling disease to dancing again, from alcoholism to recovery, and so on, Maggie's made it. It takes a strong person to do all that and still be standing. Hell. She dealt with "Summer the Bummer!" and if that soul-sucking storyline didn't take her down, nothing will.
Finally, Maggie's already proven she can make the hard calls when needed -- and call out arrogant heirs, too. And she can make lemon bars to boost morale!? Yes, please. I'm on LinkedIn, Mags. Call me.
I think for her next order of business, Maggie should fire Alex and hire Anna. She could run Titan Publishing now that she's kind of, maybe, sorta still might be writing a book. Okay. Anna does have legit business experience and has worked with Stephanie. Wins all around. This would just be fabulous. Unnecessary? Totally! But fabulous, nonetheless.
Though, if you think about it, Alex as a free agent could take his special skill set -- and I'm using both "special" and "skill set" loosely and generously here -- to the enemies at DiMera Enterprises. Add in empty nester Tony, who has time now that Anna's employed once again, and he could be a mentor amongst the rest of the bickering DiMera brothers. Alex could be the "DiMera" heir that Johnny doesn't want to be, and Chad gave up on being.
And another level to the Chad vs. Alex rift would be added. See. Tony and Anna make things better!
All that said, I wouldn't mind if eventually Maggie had a new sparring partner or two. I mean, Alex can only get fired so many times. I propose Kate! Say, Kate must step in as a proxy for Philip while he's, um, dead-not-dead. If Paulina pops up for a real estate deal or two, I wouldn't mind that, either. And I certainly wouldn't mind if Maggie and Kate had to work together if, say, another one of Victor's ex-wives wanted a slice of the Titan treasure. Someone like -- I dunno -- Vivian!?
There is so much potential to be had with Maggie as CEO, and none of it involves Kiriakis men in a love triangle. Refreshing! Welcome to the big top, Mags, and as Shania says, "Let's go, girls."
I'm going to take a few "Shut Up" cards off the top of the deck that I intended to slide solely toward Alex and pass a few out to other Salemites...
Chad. Buddy. You know what you did. I don't have to scold you, as Steph did an amazing job of that herself, but here are a few cards to remind you to not do it again. We good. Just, you know, don't do it again, please and thank you.
I'd hand cards to both Sloan and Nicole, but Ms. Walker's swagger is a small dog and martini away from returning to her glory days of sass and fun. Her team-up with E.J. doesn't hurt, either. I'm enjoying this scheming duo. So, sorry, Sloan, here's some "Shut Ups!" just for you!
Also, Sloan. Um. How do I put this gently. You're making fun of Nicole for being a "boomer," which is totally inaccurate, as Nicole is definitely "Gen X," thankyouverymuch, but the point is that Eric's -- and you can Lizzo "About Damn Time" clap to these next words -- the same damn age. Not a strong argument, counselor. Here's some cards. Take 'em. Snark better next time.
In fairness, there is one "Mind Your Own Business" Card in the deck. So, yeah. I guess Nicole doesn't have to walk away empty-handed. She could use said card as a coaster to tell which drink is hers. She'll want that 4-1-1.
Oh, Gwen! You get a lot of the cards. Let's break this down, sister. You didn't do anything for Xander that you didn't want to do. He didn't even ask you for help. You volunteered it. So, sorry, not sorry, that you're having a blue day because you didn't get what you wanted and Xander left before you could accidentally push him against a desk.
Xander. Bro. If you really wanted to keep Sarah, you knew what you had to do. Suck it up. Accept Maggie's loan and move on. Instead, you did what you did. Here are some cards for you, too. You're welcome.
I adored the use of Brady's history with Marlena as a teaching point for that sweet little drop of sunshine known as Rachel. That was brilliant and touching. John and Brady couldn't have been any cuter or wiser. And I'm sure the child of brain trust Brady and delusional Kristen will totally pick up what they were putting down. Spoiler: She won't.
Though sensible me does feel bad for Rachie. What Special K did was simply child abuse. Also, it's not lost on me that Kristen did to her child what Stefano did to Kristen and Peter. That is, brainwashed them to his twisted view of reality. Grade-A parenting, Kristen. Bravo.
Conversely, I, uh, have a friend. Let's call him "Toby." He wanted me to ask if Dr. Rolf's mind-unscrambler/air fryer contraption is safe to use on children. To, say, make them less bratty if their mother basically brainwashed them to being utterly insufferable.
I like "Broe" enough, but I kind of get it if Chloe's had enough. Brady comes with more baggage than the Salem airport. Which might not be that much, now that I think about it. People move and travel about with only a wheely suitcase normally, but you know what I'm trying to say. Brady's a bit busted. Is it time for the Chlomeister to call it, or is "Broe" endgame?
The Brothers Dim have Belle and Sloan on their sides. Eric and Belle's blowup seems forced, but the performances by Greg Vaughan and Martha Madison are so masterful, I don't even mind. They're simply amazing.
I like that Jada was direct with Rafe. Should they get serious, she would also be the perfect partner of his to investigate what happened to his first fiancée, Emily Hudson. She could finally solve that Rafe-old mystery.
Oh, snap! Another new Salem mystery. Xander said, "My mum is dead. At least to me, she is." Yes, please. I'd love to see the show explore this side of Xander. We've rinsed and repeated him enough with Sarah and Gwen dramas, and we know more is on the nine-month horizon. At least meeting his mother might be a nice pre-baby detour.
Also curious is that Xander's mother was mentioned to be an alcoholic, and he's formed a relationship with Maggie, a recovering one. I feel like Maggie may be in a place to repair a bridge for Xandie and Mama Xandie someday. Maybe. Still, the mystery remains: Who is Xanimal's mother? I have a hunch we've met her.
Welcome to Salem, Talia Hunter! Now. About those champion-level chocolate chip cookies. If you're passing out samples, the Two Scoops offices are just off the square. Just saying.
And yet another mystery! Talia mentioned she was living with someone in New York, and it didn't work out. Could this someone be related to a certain Salemite!? My kneejerk reaction was Joy Wesley. My second thought was -- is her enigmatic ex the same sleaze who broke Stephanie's heart? Maybe Steph's ghost and Talia's throwaway are one and the same. This could add some drama, as Stephanie should surely know Talia if she knows Jada via their father's connection.
As a person who's in charge of hiring, I loved Chanel's idea of time blocks to call references. Brilliant! Not so brilliant, though? Spilling your sordid story to a potential new hire. She gets a "Shut Up!" warning card. She's been through a lot lately, hence the warning. Besides, save something for those post-shift gossip sessions. Or stay professional. You know. Don't doody where you eat and all. Or as Mama Hunter says, "Don't get your honey where you get your money." That! Love. But, Chanel, THAT. Don't do it...again.
Another-another mama-sized mystery: who is Jada and Talia's mother!? Have we met her in the past? Does she have a connection to Salem other than Marcus and her daughters? I'd like to meet her.
On to a stepfather-sized mystery. Well. Not a mystery-mystery, but this would be a good time for Chad to reconnect with Charles Woods, his dirty one-time D.A. stepfather. Maybe Chucky could slither his way back into Salem with a scandalous secret. Or let me put it this way, Chad needs a storyline. He's too dynamic of a character to let linger. I'm cool with him and Stephanie, but it might be best if they both have big storylines and support one another. As it is, the Chad, Steph, and Alex triangle fizzles more than sizzles.
Salem seems to be on a baby boom lately. First Sarah. So, who's next!? Gwen seems an obvious choice. That would bring in all the dramas for Xander. Sloan's also in the running. Chloe's been with Stefan. And Stephanie has been with both Alex and Chad recently. We also know that Dr. Rolf has had some magically weird scientific baby hatchings before, too, so anyone could be preggers or have a pod baby they don't even know about. This could be yet another mystery for Johnny and Wendy to solve. *groan*
Wendy really needs to become the Barbara Gordon/Oracle of the Black Patch's Bat-Family. Her talents and coolness are being wasted in the kiddie pool. She'd be great with John and Steve. They'd teach her spy stuff and day drinking. It'd be a win-win.
Sadly, being shackled with Johnny just makes him and Wendy feel like the Fun Police. They're totally the "No! You have FOUR fingers and a thumb!" type. Then they do a little triumphant Disney channel-like arm cross in unison and conclude, "Case solved!" Ugh.
They're not wrong for wanting to help, they're just -- more so, he's just -- so aggravating. Half of the time, I'm just not sure what he's trying to prove, but it usually seems like it's E.J.'s fault or will be by the time he's through. Maybe Jo-Ro should go stay with his grandpa Roman for a while, support his Pappy, and get out from under the evil DiMera roof.
Still, Mr. Shin has a plan for Wendy. Another spoiler: He's not going to be Team Tripp. Why would you want to see your daughter with a dashing do-gooder doctor when she could have heir Johnny of DiMera!? You can alphabetize that list or rank in order of obviousness, but either way, that's going to be a long list in Tripp's favor.
Finally, Li and Gabi are stuck together for six. There's an even a morality clause in play now. No hanky-panky with Stefan, and she may see those shares. I suspect that she and Stefan will screw this up by screwing around, but still, I bet Li will somehow super screw up later, landing Gabs the shares. Just my hunch.
Still, while six months seems like a long time, I'm enjoying this for now. I like Gabi and Stefan being back on the same page. They're better with common goals. More so, Remington Hoffman is cracking me up as lovestruck Li trying to put things back on track. Like, everyone knows he will lose, but his gushing and attempts to woo her are wonderfully hilarious. Baby ducks. Ha!
HOT
I want to give the Price-Carver family a big group hug. They're adorable. First, I love Paulina's passion. She pledged to protect Chanel at all costs. I believe she will, AND she has Belle in her corner. Yes, please! It's scientifically proven that the more Martha Madison, the better.
I also adore Abe and Chanel's relationship! Their love and appreciation is pleasant. She hit the stepfather jackpot, no doubt, but he's just as proud of a papa to her as to his other children.
And! Chanel finally isn't saddled with Allie, so better things must be on the horizon for her! Cheers to all of that!
NOT
"I know and respect that," Alex said to Maggie. Shut up. No, you don't. Just like you didn't respect Stephanie. He sure does seem to love women...when they agree with him.
Also, Eric. Pal. Buddy. I saved a big old "Shut Up!" card for you, too. "What would Mom say!?" Really? One, WAY too soon. Two, I know his teenage rebellion is happening late in life, but even Sami wouldn't stoop to that statement. Third, Marlena would probably have some wise statement and be sympathetic to what he's going through, but I'll just agree with the title Belle bestowed on him: "King of the Horses' Asses."
LINE(S) OF THE WEEK
Nicole (to Sloan upon blocking her slap): "Careful, counselor. I invented that move."
Brady (to Eric): "Objection! Overruled."
RANDOM THOUGHTS
I kind of loved the Shawn and Chloe gossip session. I'll always get nostalgic when "Last Blasters" reunite.
Okay. It might have a bit -- and by "bit" I mean "everything" -- to do with it being an Alex bash, but I chuckled when Xander asked Maggie, "What's her problem?" as Alex stormed out after not getting his way.
I laughed hard when Belle asked Eric, "What about you, bro. What's your excuse?"
The more we meet Mr. Shin, the more I can see why he and Stefano had an alliance.
Tripp's blueness that he's back at the hospital without Kayla is just another reason it was silly that he wasn't with his siblings as they planned the funeral.
Wendy's expressions while around her dad are everything. Her calling out Li earlier was pretty great, too.
E.J. and Nicole's banter about the tree was tree-mendous.
I can totally see Jada being part of a kickboxing and brunch tradition. I love that for her and Talia.
So. Li. Feeding baby ducks. Paddle boats. Picnic lunches. An immersive van Gogh exhibit. I don't see a horseback ride on a white stallion or a cosmic floating bed in there. Try harder next time. This is Salem, not amateur hour.
Okay. Feeding baby ducks would be fun. I'll give Li back a point or two.
I think Leo's Norma Rae moment standing up for Gwen absolves him for his sins against her. That was some passionate friendshipping and "X'wen" shipping. He's going to be so devastated.
"A lot can happen in six months" seems to be a repeated phrase. Are we looking at another time jump? Hmm.
This would be a really good time for Peacock to do a one-off episode or special interviewing Maggie's former employees. They could recount her Gordon Ramsey-like outbursts at Chez Rouge, yet they'd all still respect her business prowess. Jennifer could dust off her old on-air interviewing chops, since she has some extra time now, and host.
PARTING THOUGHTS
So, friends and fellow fans, that's it for March 13! Now that time has sprung ahead, I need to spring into action to help Roman shamrock up the Brady Pub for St. Patrick's Day! Laurisa will be back next week with green beer in hand to celebrate all things McDays! As always, thank you for reading, and "That's a fact."
Tony
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